I'm glad someone else is getting enjoyment from this. I kinda feel like a mental patient... bouncing from OMG this feeling is so exciting, feeling your palm get sweaty and your face going hot all of the sudden ... to.... what the heck do I think I'm doin' acting like a teenage girly girl... and then back again! ARGHHHH!!!!!
Psa 51:10 Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.
lnf- I totally get it! Felt that way with church friend, then with X girlfriend and now one of my closest brothers is feeling it with a woman he has not even asked out for coffee.
It is a sign of having moved on that we are ready to feel this way once again. We disciplined ourselves to have these feelings only for our spouses and to resist the temptation to have feelings for anyone else. NOW, the whole pool of eligible men/women are potential matches once we focus in on the right kind of match for us. Of course the eye candy hunks or hotties float around and arouse our desires and mess with our heads as well. As a guy, many of my brothers and I have had multiple discussions about taking every thought captive because we are so visually oriented and these are disturbingly visually sensual times - I really am finding myself staying away from TV because it just flames lustful desires I will not act on until I get married. If I sound like a prude, it is only because media, music and entertainment, print media pound into our heads that if we are not getting some, we are missing out.
Well as much as anyone on this board, I miss making love. Even before X physically left, she mentally left and the few times we were physically together over the last few years of our marriage (her choice) we weren't making love, it was sex.
Back to my point. These feelings are so wonderful and good but now they are the prelude to the right kind of relationship we each desire, mutually respectful, mutually rewarding and satisfying to the innermost parts of our being. Therefore, be giddy, excited but do so after you start to know that the person is has potential to be the kind of man you could have a committed relationship with. Many the WAS's felt something which turned into more than they bargained for and, as a result, their LBS's wound up here.
For me, if I see someone of interest, and learn that the essential qualities I know God wants me to have in my future spouse are not present, I do not want to give even the smallest hint to her that I have any interest- friendly with the love of Christ, ok but NOTHING that could be interpreted as being flirtatious and in that way, I believe I can protect each of our hearts.
As interested as I was in finding if God brought X girlfriend to me for a long term relationship leading to marriage, when I knew that I knew that I knew this was not His plan, I chose not to continue any contact with her because our past relationship (which included intimacy 20 years ago) would infringe on my desire to be solely pure in thought and mind towards my future wife. Church friend chose not to continue to pursue a relationship back in December and when we went on the Hawaii missions trip, I wondered if it was now God's timing to court her. God showed me on this trip that we are not a good match. I love her as my sister in Christ but we have never done anything we would be embarrassed about should we one day introduce the other to our future spouse. I am so thankful for each of these experiences and see that God protected both ladies as well as myself.
I just thought I would share what I have learned through my recent explorations in to the world of puppy love. I am looking forward to experiencing such feelings again but only with whomeing I think could be potential wives. (What a contrast from the guy I was before Jesus became my Lord, 180 degrees.)
Committed2Him- "C2H" All Things (Back from Spain!)...18
Thank you so much for that... it is very encouraging to hear all these thoughts are quite natural and that I'm not alone in wrestling with impure tendencies. It has been an ongoing prayer that God will block anything from occuring that is not within His plan for me. But then I always seem to second guess my own heart.... am I being too guarded .... am I running on impulse... am I misreading what I think God is trying to show me????
ARGHHHH!!!! So many questions...
I have shut down what might have been potential relationships in the past year because of fear that I might not be ready and I've pushed away people who might even have been longterm friends because of my belief that I cannot have playdates.... kind of disheartening but those are the times that I feel as if I've seen God working in the situation.
Thanks again for sharing your experience.... there's nothing quite like a virtual accountability friend!!!! I know you have plenty real ones and more than a few here..... just wanted you to know I'm appointing you as my VAF!!!!
You're an inspiration!!!!
Psa 51:10 Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.
