I hope you are right!!! I know you are but I hope that is the case with my H! I can't believe he could get off work this quick with him just starting this job. I guess he told them in advance that he had this planned, who knows!
It's just hard, we have taken vacations together for all these years & never by ourselves except 2 times he went on the scuba diving trip & the last time is when OW was there & you know the rest of the story.
You know, my H & OW really don't know what reality is b/c they have just been together for short periods of time since he told me he wanted a D, so it's almost like they have been on vacation for a while now. Of course he moved out there in March so this is the longest they have been together. I keep hoping he will see what she really is, maybe she will be flirting with OM on this trip. I don't put it past her & my H is the jealous type.
I am so sorry you are feeling down this week. Like the others have said try to get your mind off H and OW. It's only a matter of time before reality starts to set in for him. He HAS to feel some guilt about what's happened. This may take longer because of all the hurt feelings during the legal process of the D.
I hope you enjoy your day with your cousins - getting out will be really good for you. I hope you have a wonderful day!
Me47 H46 S13 M16 Piecing since May/09
"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." Lou Holtz
Well I got up this morning feeling pretty good but then my cousins didn't come in town today. I waited for them & they didn't call until later to let me know they didn't get to make it. I did a few things but I guess with the holiday weekend & last year H & I did things together that it has made it really sad!!!
I sure hope you are right & reality will set in for him. I just hope it doesn't take too long. I have been afraid that he might have some resentment b/c of all the legal stuff during the D process. His brother didn't help matters any, I found out he said not to give me the house or alimony & to stand firm. So H was determined that I was NOT getting this house or alimony. He said he worked too hard on re-modeling it to just give it to me. I helped too but of course he didn't see that part of it, he said I didn't do anything. I wonder how I got paint all over me & splinters in my hands where I would hold stuff for him or how in the world did he get the bay window in by himself???? Yeah, right! I didn't do a thing, but I lived in construction for 7 years before he finished the back part of the house & didn't say a word when I had to step up on plywood & drywall when I came in the door. It was a mess but I never complained & he always wanted to take a vacation instead of finishing the house, guess what, we went on vacation, again I didn't say a word. But does he remember all of that, NO!
I don't mean to talk bad about him, he really is or was a good man & had moral values. I'm still just thinking as close as we were why in the world couldn't he come to me & let me know he met someone on that trip & then we could have worked it out & now of this would be happening right now.
I'm just having a hard time now. Thank you all for your support. I know I can come here, vent & you are here for me!!
Hi there, I am so sorry you are thinking about your exH with the ow on vacation; I know what that is like, too. You were married as long as I was and he has only known the ow a very short amount of time. You cannot compare the two. In time, life won't be a 'vacation' to them and reality will set in. I hope that offers you some comfort. It doesn't happen overnight, but it does happen.
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
Thank you for that, yes it does offer some comfort to me! It's just so hard as close as we once were. I just hope that he doesn't hold hard feelings against me with all the legal stuff that happened. He threatened criminal charges against me b/c he left his laptop computer here & I figured out his password & got into his work emails. He tried to hang that over my head throughout the whole process but apparently his lawyer said that nothing would come of that b/c he didn't get what he wanted. My L told me not to worry about it b/c the computer was in my house & he left it.
My SIL told me that he had told them early on, last fall, that he might have to pay me alimony but he would send my checks to jail b/c he was going to put me there. (He talks big around them) I got into the emails & that is how I found out about OW, I really can't believe he didn't get in trouble at work b/c some of those emails were very damaging. Sexy talk!! He may have gotten in trouble but didn't tell me. I doubt they would have fired him b/c he was a good employee.
He knows that I found out a lot of stuff, but it's like my lawyer told me, he was my H & I had every right to go thru his things. I just had to know & all he was telling me was he didn't love me anymore & he had to find himself again. I knew him well enough to know better. I asked him over & over if there was someone else, he kept telling me No, & he was tired of me accusing him, the whole time he was telling me this I knew the truth but my L told me not to let him know I knew. That was hard for him to be in the same house with me (H in guest room) & me keep quite when he was telling me all his reasons for the D making me look like I was the bad one.
I like your saying, I truely believe I will love him forever even as mean as he has been to me. I know it's the MLC talking & I also know that he was trying to justify his A & the feelings of guilt. I sure hope he is still feeling that guilt & reality will set in soon.
Thank you again, (((HOPE))) That does give me comfort!!!!
I know my xH picked up the income tax refund check yesterday at noon. I had the PO send me an email to show his signature. I had put that note (Hope you are doing well) in there so I know he has it now.
I haven't heard a word from him, not that I really expected to but I guess I was just hoping.
Yes, it did make me feel better. She used to cut my H hair also & knows what all has been going on. He had made an appointment with her on April 1st, she would always call him on his cell phone the day before to remind him, so when she did he just told her he wouldn't be able to make it & didn't tell her he was in another state. Didn't say anything to her about moving. But he knew she & I talked so he has been pretty distant everytime he got his cut. She said several times that she would asked about me & the D & he would just look at her & she wouldn't say anything else.
These men!! I hope he will come out of this soon!!
