The Good, the Bad, and the Funny One Year Update

[mkultra]

Hey Y'all.
I would like to update for anyone who may still remember me, if not "Howdy!"
I am so thankful for DBing! I feel that divorce is inevitable but I can accept that. Today during my nap I dreamt things were they used to be, the way they are supposed to be. My happy hubby coming home from work and my kids running for the door yelling, "Daddy! Daddy's home!"

In reality, my husband's homecoming is so sad and strained. My children are torn because they want to act happy to see their father but they feel pulled away from me. Currently, they spend Saturday nights at his apartment which is not yet furnished so they sleep in sleeping bags and eat microwave food. That seems fine but family life has definitely diminished.

Aren't we all mourning that loss? I sure am. I began thinking how we may never go to an amusement park as a family again. Even though we try to be friendly my STBX is so repulsive it takes everything I have got to act happy.

I mean it. He went from being a loyal, super pretty cute Dad to becoming a nasty perverted looking freak. Yuck. It is so embarrassing to be at the park and hear nasty comments thrown out at him from cruel teenagers and even bully Dads. Ever see the movie "Little Children" where the child molester swims in the pool and the whole neighbourhood clears out? My ex looks just as disturbing by the way he dresses like a kid and looks like a loon.

Sigh. Sorry for the rant. But I worry for my D6. I feel like a broken record here but it helps to vent even after a year. I almost wish he would just move away. I am hurt that his parents give him money for an apartment so that he can stay close to the kids. I wish he would just move away with them back East. Is that a horrible wish? I feel that he is a bad influence. Everything about his mid life crisis is nebulous. There are rumours of drugs, infidelities, homosexuality, etc. but no real facts?? Affair, yes. Abuse, yes. But what else is he capable of?
Does anyonbe else just wish their spouse would disappear for the sake of the kids? Is there any study to show which is better? My mom paid off my Dad to leave and I am glad he did. My mother in law ran away from her abusive exhusband and never looked back!