H is Having Affair after all - Part 2

[seekpeaceofmind]

Evie - your plans for the w/e sound great. It's a shame th you ran into ow today - that wld be so hard. I don't know what normal wld be. I think it is much healthier for you to be w/o feeling toward her - I always think the anger is so misplaced when it is directed at ow - not th you shldn't have animosity toward her, but H is the one who broke the promise. Sometimes the cheated on spouse seems to focus on the ow or om, when the problem is w/ the spouse who did the cheating. On the other hand, I wldn't ever want to lay eyes on the ow, but I don't know how I wld feel toward H. I wld want to be able to forgive him (I think), but there wld be no real reason to forgive ow, except that bitterness is so harmful to the one who holds it. Once again, I don't think I'm making much sense!

One question - if you did sell house and move, wld it mean th you wld be less likely to have these chance encounters w/ ow? That wld be reason enough for me to move ASAP.

What did you mean by 'h feeling jerked around'? I don't want to jerk him around intentionally.

I just thought that you and H had already agreed to sell house and I think he will not react well if you have second thoughts. When he thought you weren't going to go along with his plan last time, it got pretty stormy. I'm not saying th you wld intentionally jerk him around, but that he wld react as if you did. If you did agree to sell and you now think differently, you need to prepare for his response.

Any suggestions for goals welcome as i can't seem to set any and i'm still struggling with what i can improve about me? I have identified the angry responses so i'm trying to work on that.

It's hard for me to comment on goals for someone else, but I'm wondering if you need to make them about self-improvement. Maybe it can just be abt your quality of life. Getting enough sleep, time w/ friends, exercise and fresh air - all helps w/ depression. Getting your money sitch settled so th you can enjoy life, incl travel. Getting D2 settled. I don't think it has to be all abt identifying and fixing your "flaws". Maybe it shld be more about your strengths. . . .