Hi everyone, I tried the "change anything" method yesterday with surprising results. I thought that I needed to "go dark" completely but decided that I'd try an experimental call to the H with a different "medium" and just change some of the things about how I interacted. Although I did want to stay away from calling H during my time away; I thought I'd change things a bit about the circumstances of my calling just to see what would happen. I called during the day and left an upbeat message and casually mentioned I'd be in town in a couple of weeks. Normally I would have sounded pitiful, annoyed, distraught or distant but I forced myself to "act as if". Later that evening, he called me back. I did the same routine and stayed in the moment "as if" all was fine. H commented he'd be off that day and my coming over to see my dogs was "fine". I kept the conversation short, showed some interest in him ("how's your personal training going?") but not overly so. I then got off the phone without any "I miss you's" or "I love you's". I realized the key to my communication with him seemed to be to not appear like the victim anymore. I think I'm finally getting it. I just hope when I get back into town on June 2 that I'll project the same attitude in person. I have a coaching session with a DB coach on the 27th so hopefully I'll have some tools to make some real changes. How am I doing?
