I know what you mean about concentration! I have a hard time myself. I'm not working full time right now & looking for a job, but it is hard to not just sit around & be lazy.
I hope you are right & the fast D will work to my advantage.
My H also tends to mean what he says, but we have to realize in MLC they are like aliens & they really don't know what they are saying.
The S & D & mediation & all of that took a toll on me also. I think you did well to write him a letter. I did that also. Sometimes they will read a letter when they won't listen or let you talk. That happened in my case.
I think you are doing great! Believe me, I know it is hard & depression can make you very tired & of course if you are like I am, I didn't sleep well during all of this. Try to get some rest & eat well. Take care of you right now, that is the best thing you can do.
My H also tends to mean what he says, but we have to realize in MLC they are like aliens & they really don't know what they are saying.
I agree with you that they may not necessarily know what they are saying.
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think you did well to write him a letter. I did that also. Sometimes they will read a letter when they won't listen or let you talk. That happened in my case.
Yes, you were right. Yesterday morning, I left my H a VM, where I read my letter to him. I felt it best to read it so he can hear the sincerity in my voice. It was VERY risky (emotionally) for me to do and I was very nervous before and afterwards. But I prayed before and after and left it to God. For some weird reason, the song "Que Sera Sera" came into my head and I started singing it to remind myself that God is in control. It really felt as if God was telling me to trust in Him. That really helped me feel better.
I didn't expect a response yesterday BUT my H sent me an email yesterday afternoon saying that he got the message and that it was an extremely sweet message. He said he really didn't know what to say at this time. He said we needed to get together and talk a bit. He thanked me for the sweet message. He also proceeded to respond to the my email questions from last Fri.
His response really surprised me. I had imagined him to take his time to acknowledge my voicemail.
This morning, I responded back, and also told him about my dog's mishap. BTW, my dog hurt her knee very badly last night. There were back-and-forth emails today about the dog and some advice for a topic he's very passionate about.
Oh PH!!! That sounds wonderful!!!! I'm so glad you guys are keeping in touch! It does sound promising for your sitch. My H never did respond to my letter. The only thing he ask was if I hired someone b/c I knew about OW being M at least 3 times, I'm not sure he did until I wrote it in letter.
I'm so sorry to hear about your dog hurting her knee! Is she going to be all right?? My girl tore her ACL one year & had to have surgery. That's been about 7 years ago now & she did well with it. Of course now with her age she has arthritis. I'm glad your H is concerned about the dog, that is great & maybe that is a way he can keep in touch with you.
I keep hoping my H will call & ask about our dogs, but so far he hasn't, they both have health problems of course the older one is worse. I haven't heard from him since he was here on April 12th, seems like it is such a long time but I guess in our sitch it's not very long at all. I'm not very patient sometimes.
I have to learn to turn it over to God, we are human & that is hard to do. I just keep worrying & I can't keep doing that.
God is definitely in control & we have to trust Him!!! You are doing great!!!!! I'm so proud of you & for being so strong. I'm sure you were very nervous reading the letter to him, I would have been too. It was risky, but I think you did fine & at least he could hear the sincerity in your voice & he responded!!
That is weird that song popped in your head but I know it was God telling you he was there & holding you up!!!!
Way to go PH!!!! I am thanking God for touching your H also!!!!
Hi nlt, Thanks for all your kind words... My letter was an apology for my part in the M failure and an explanation of why I am standing for my M. I think it must have really touched his heart. I don't think my H ever expected to hear what I said, even though I meant every word of it.
My dog tore her ACL. She's getting surgery on Tue.
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I haven't heard from him since he was here on April 12th, seems like it is such a long time but I guess in our sitch it's not very long at all. I'm not very patient sometimes.
I know it's hard. Let this situation teach you patience. I have had to learn patience. I figured that the sooner I allow God to teach me what I need to learn, the closer I would be to God's goal for me, be it M restoration or whatever. The harder I fight His lessons for me, the longer my pain will continue.
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I have to learn to turn it over to God, we are human & that is hard to do. I just keep worrying & I can't keep doing that.
I agree - worrying is so draining, and achieves nothing, yet it's hard to not worry. Pray and let go. Ask God to help you to stop worrying. Ask Him to help you to trust Him.
Thank you so much for your words of encouragement!!! I think that is great that you wrote him a letter. I'm glad it touched his heart. Maybe that is something that will help him move back toward restoration.
Yes, I've got to learn patience & trust God!!
I'm so sorry that your dog has to have surgery! How old is she?? I'm sure she will do fine with the surgery. It's always scary when they have to put them under for a while but I'm sure she will do fine.
Maybe that will be a good chance for H to come by & see her after you get her home.
You sound like such a wonderful person & such a strong person. I know God is with you!!!
Keep doing what you are doing, I believe it is going to work for you!!!
Hi nlt, Thanks - I know God is with me. And He promises to be with us if we let Him (by having faith and trust in Him).
Our dog is 8 years old. She will be going to a very good surgeon who also took care of other ACL. I know my H is concerned about our dog. He does worry about her.
Yes, God is with you for sure!!! I'm so glad your H is concerned about the dog. At least that is something you two can talk about & eventually lead to other things.
Let me know how your dog does, I'm sure she will do fine.
Peace, I basically told I was standing for our M, and acknowledge my part in the M failing and asked if he'd forgive me. I wish I can share more details than this. -PH
