Have had very little interaction with H the past few days. On purpose. We emailed earlier about D's bday and he said he was making her anything she wanted for dinner and invited me to join them. That's going to be weird, to be at the apartment all together.
Saw H at the club tonight when he picked up the kids. Hug and kiss hello and goodbye, but nothing. I really think he just can't (won't) come back. He's said before that he just doesn't want to be in this relationship. I have very low expectations at this point and it just saddens me and makes me so angry at the same time. I just don't understand how he can do this to me, how he can do this to the kids. I just don't. It's plain wrong.
But, there's nothing I can do.
Me: 42/H: 37 T: 10 years/M: 8 D9, S8 Bomb: 7.23.07 Separated: 1.20.08 D Final 3.19.09 Affair started in '05, found out parts in 11/07. They married 11.26.09
Looks like we are in the same boat almost. My WAW words almost to the tee. She said she left no stone unturned... I said there is a huge boulder in front of you that you haven't turned over - the one that BOTH of us work on this R at the same time. You are right, it is plain wrong and there is nothing we can do... sucks, don't it!
CBK
M=46 W=47 M=24 (together 26) D21, S19 Bomb 3/16/08 OM 3/28/08 WAW moved out 5/16 Divorce final 10/09
My H won't work on us at all. He works on family time, on himself, but has consistently said that he just can't face us, or "isn't there." I don't get how he could do this to his little kids without at least trying to work on our R. Instead, his daughter gets to wake up and go to sleep on her birthday without her own mother there. Yes, I will spend most of the day with her, but it's not the same.
Me: 42/H: 37 T: 10 years/M: 8 D9, S8 Bomb: 7.23.07 Separated: 1.20.08 D Final 3.19.09 Affair started in '05, found out parts in 11/07. They married 11.26.09
I still think it is that he doesn't know how right now. Not that that is any excuse. Just don't be too hasty in pushing things through. I think he wants to come back, at some level, I really do.
CW - I wonder if you H and my W are brother/sister lost at birth. I think with little kids is even worse, to me, not even to try and work on it is horrible. I will be thinking of you tomorrow, more like tonight because you don't get to wake up with her. You will get past this CW, you will do fine. When do you take of for SF? I am going to San Jose tomorrow to catch a buddies baseball game, then kicking around. I was actually supposed to meet a buddy in SF this weekend as well, he is from Denver but just canceled yesterday - so will do some work around the house, garden, etc.
Be well my friend.
CBK
M=46 W=47 M=24 (together 26) D21, S19 Bomb 3/16/08 OM 3/28/08 WAW moved out 5/16 Divorce final 10/09
I used to think that, but then he'll bring up that he "doesn't want to be in this relationship." I've told him before that our old relationship is dead, but I really don't think he wants to come back. If he wanted to come back I think he'd at least be willing to try. By not even being willing to try, IMO, it shows that he doesn't want to come back and he has to want it to even come close to happening.
We'll see.
I'm still on the fence as to whether or not I should file. My heart says I need to (LRT style), but my head (and checkbook) tells me I need to ride it out as long as possible.
Me: 42/H: 37 T: 10 years/M: 8 D9, S8 Bomb: 7.23.07 Separated: 1.20.08 D Final 3.19.09 Affair started in '05, found out parts in 11/07. They married 11.26.09
Dang CW - I swear or sitch is close. Last night I said our M was dead, I have been mourning that M, and now is the time to work on the current R - WAW said that she doesn't want this relationship and can not see us married ever... that was a shot in the groin, but I was okay, well, kind of. I said I could never be her friend if we cannot even work on a the R, not the M, but an R. Like you, I though about filing today, but then said let her do it, we are separating our accounts, let her pay for the lawyer - or I will in the long run...
CW - tipping my beer to you tonight.
CBK
M=46 W=47 M=24 (together 26) D21, S19 Bomb 3/16/08 OM 3/28/08 WAW moved out 5/16 Divorce final 10/09
I'm still on the fence as to whether or not I should file. My heart says I need to (LRT style), but my head (and checkbook) tells me I need to ride it out as long as possible.
As MWD points on regularly in her books, time is on your side. Keep detaching and working on yourself. It doesn't hurt to wait right now. Just do what's best for you and the kids. (((cw)))
Have a GREAT weekend!!!!!!!
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
