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[SuperDad]

AG and Dave,
Since I just finished some yoga poses to the sound of rain falling on the roof, I am feeling philosophical...

In fact, it is healthy for a self-respecting individual to start to feel less and less toward an X or STBX when that person displays an utter disregard for your own and your family's needs and boundaries. I have come to be believe that love really is not unconditional - it is conditioned on a foundation of mutual trust and respect. The only exception is the love that one has for their children - or perhaps a person reacting to a mental illness.

Not sure if W has an actual mental illness, but at this point, I am not sure about all of this. In some ways I do love her, I just don't trust her nor feel any attraction to her.(definitely related things, I agree) I definitely feel pity for her in that she is so utterly lost that she cannot identify a path and commit to it.

I actually don't think my feelings are all that different than I would feel if say, one of my sons became a drug addict and started lieing, stealing, etc. I would be firm with them, but still as open as possible to let them into my life in whatever capacity I could without accepting their actions.

In this case, I know she is part of my family in that she is the mother of my kids and will (hopefully some day) be the grandmother of my grandchildren. This is not a tie you can sever, whether you want to or not. Once you acknowledge this, you might as well find a way to let go of whatever non-productive, ego-driven "afflictive" emotions you have and get on with building a better future relationship.

Dave, I do agree that I find myself asking more and my if it wouldn't be better for us all if we were separated. Indeed, I am working toward this goal, albiet slowly.

SD