Hello to all of you. I decided it was time to think optimistically and jump over here from newcomers.
I am a little burnt today. Kind of struggling a little. I had hoped to get some time to spend w/ W over this long holiday w/e. That aparently is not going to happen. She stated that she had plans for this w/e already. I did not press for details as to what those plans are and she did not offer them to me.
It seems 99% of my contact with W is by phone due to the jobs that we respectively hold.
When I get a second and I am able to figure it out, I will throw on my link to my previous thread from Newcomers.
my existing thread over @ N/C is linked under my sig.
If anyone can inform me how I might be able to track down some of my earlier threads, I would appreciate the help in finding them. I tried looking in the archive sect, but there don't appear to be any additions to the archive after Sept. 2007.
For me it was a w/e that I honestly did not know what shape it would take. I had zero plans going into the w/e and I emerged from it with some real wonderful feelings. For the most part it was made special by having three solid days to spend with DD14. She is just an amazing kid. Her & I spent the afternoon w/ W on Sunday. Parts of that time 'together' were rather disjointed and on the verge of fracturing, but we pulled through it and managed to have a decent time outdoors in addition to watching the new Indiana Jones on the big screen. And then, seemingly, DD14 and I were ejected from W's day as she had other 'things' to do. She seems to be playing the role of mystery woman. She would not allude to what her Monday 'plans' were, just that they did not involve us. I won't be holding my breath for an apology from her stemming from her hanging up on me back on Friday.
I think my calls to her will be more along the lines of 'once in a blue moon'. I will be keeping my eyes open for her spacecraft as I fly around the friendly skies. She had better have GPS nav and a whole lot more as she has a propensity for getting lost.
If anyone can inform me how I might be able to track down some of my earlier threads, I would appreciate the help in finding them.
when you are logged in if you click on your member name[Tomato]on the left side of the screen, then on the drop down list move down to View posts you should then be able to get to every post you've even done.
I am not sure about the piecing. Or, I should say W is aparently not sure about the piecing. Imagine that, she doesn't know what she wants. The only thing that she is sure of is that she wants things to be easy for her. With that said, she should never have gotten M. M is never easy, especially with all the attacks that Satan continually makes against it. It almost feels like I am turning the light switch off again on her ..going dark. I don't know what I should do?? All I know is that DD14's time is running out. I hate the fact that because our M is so screwed up(and W won't get off the fence)that it is going to mean that DD14 will have to be transferred to yet another foster home come July 25. This is beyond sad to me. It is heart breaking and I feel that it is a foregone conclusion now. DD14 has been progressing so nicely and this is almost definetely going to set her back :(.
Lord, bringer of my savior, guide me by your Holy Spirit to the safe haven from the storm and protect my family and all those others that so dearly need it.
It didn't take long for my 'silence' w/ W to be broken (by her). I was without my phone today but I ocassionally checked it for msgs and discovered one from her @ 4:30 when she was done work. It just said that she was wishing to talk to me and hoped I was doing ok and that she would explain more when I could get back to her. So I debated whether to call her right back or to sit on the msg until tomorrow maybe. The more I thought about it, waiting until tomorrow is 'game playing' and is not my style. I would not appreciate it if that sort of game was played on me so I gave her a ring. She seemed like she wanted to be talkative, which I did not. I just acted extremely business-like and let her know that I was responding to her so that she could explain whatever it was that needed explaining to me. She told me that I seemed "edgy" and asked if everything was alright. She said that I seemed upset about something and asked if I wanted to talk about whatever was bothering me. I told her that I was neither happy nor sad and that I was not really interested in discussing things. She responded that she understood and respected that position. Then she got around to explaining to me that she seemed to have misplaced/lost a check which I made out to her and given her on Sunday. I have been covering the rent on her apt(as per my insistence) for the last 6 months during our separation. So she thought she may have thrown it out?? by mistake or something?? and could I deposit that amount into an acct for her. I would think she would do a better job of keeping track of $$, but what do I know? So I told her once she was certain that it was really gone to let me know and I would take care of getting her the $.
So just a short while ago I checked my voice mail again and there was one from her. Surprisingly there is no mention as to whether or not she located the missing check. Instead she aparently was feeling in need of physical touch tonight and perhaps more!! She suggested that if I was able to find transportation to her apt that she would welcome my coming over there tonight. There were some other risque mentionings that pretty much guaranteed that I would be a luckky H. Sucks to be me in this instance as I am only a day or two away from having my wheels returned to me from the garage where my car has been for several weeks. I will keep my fingers crossed that she is just as needy again tomorrow night :).
Surrender it all to God and be burdened no more. That sort of love is the embodiment of true happiness.
I am kind of on pins and needles. Preparing myself for a w/e "talk" that W says we need to have.
I smell a rat. I am getting some of the same feelings that I had back around Feb 4/5. That's when I was summoned by her to meet her for a "talk". I wound up being served w/ D papers that night.
