I'm not sure why, but the subject matter of this post where you are trying to generate a debate on what we LBS's expect got me quite riled maybe cos it sounded a bit flippant, maybe cos of the way my current sitch is going at the moment so I hope or would ask that it gets moved elsewhere. But anyway as you are looking for everyone's 2 cent here's mine
As a LBS I know what I want from W, but I know I won't get it , life is not fair but that's how it goes, so I try not to harp on about it. However if there was one small thing I could ask from W would be a modification in her behaviour.
For whatever reason she had she stepped out of our M and ok now shes's returned, she's not even acknowledged any wrong doing. Right, I accept and deal with that, but her behaviour towards me now is still the same as it was before the bomb, the only thing going in our favour is I can see things and I react differently so we don't get back to those days , weeks even months of not talking. And guess what I can't even talk about it with W cos that's classed as raking up the past. Really now I see situations develop and they are like pre-planned ambushes, I now see that arguments we get into are set up. It's really weird cos now I see things and its not me it's all about W. Someone tell me I'm wrong.
So if W had come back and said lets wipe the slate clean and move forward ok I'm big enough to deal with it, gritt my teeth and get on with it , no need to look back just keep going forward. But to be faced with someone who has come back and wants to ignore any misdemeanours and then carry on exactly where they left off is hard to take. So as I've said before it's not about a full confession from W, it's not about begging for forgiveness or it's not having to pay penance for years and years. For me it would just be a simple "I'm sorry", then move forwards as an equal partner in the R. I'm not seeing any equal ness at the moment.
I'm sorry if I sound a bit off at the moment but I see a person in front of me still consumed in their own self. I mean to have W say to me she doesn't know where I stand on our M really peed me off. And then out of the blue to accuse me of accusing her of planning to meet OM. (WTF, censored).
Anyway it feels like I'm swimming upstream at the moment, I probably need a long rest.
