Hope4us struggle, part 4

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Pup, you seem to be answering my questions that I've already answered. Does that make you Donald Rumsfeld's nephew?

LMAO. Do I think I am? Possibly. Does that concern me? Not really. Should it? Remains to be seen.

[Hope4us]

Crack me up Pup.

Talk about some one who is conflicted. Now WW has blocked me from IM again. Made it a whole day this time!

I was chatting with my friend Deb about WW's mood swing last night and she wondered if WW called the enabler GF while I was out picking up DS16 and that's why her mood changed. Could be....

I just know that even if that isn't the case, the enabler GF isn't helping US right now. I just hope WW see's her for what she is and at some point removes her from the influential position she has.

[Hope4us]

Well, the pullback continues....but it doesn't seem as severe as the previous ones. WW would talk to me, but not do anything more than just answer my questions.

DS19 called me about some upcoming things he wants to do this summer. I told him we would just have to play it by ear because I wasn't sure what was going to happen. This is the part I wish waywards could see. The kids want and NEED stability, and with her actions/attitude, I just can't provide that stability they need. I can do everything in my power to provide it, but they want/NEED to know how this all is going to affect their lives and it just sucks that she can't see what she's doing to them.

He again told me he understood and this wasn't my fault and I apologized to him for failing him and his brother and he made me feel pretty good and at the same time sad when he replied "you're not a failure, me and DS16 are just going to have to understand and accept that right now we can't look too much into the future and make plans".

Oh well, such is the life in limbo land. I just hope I'm not mis-reading her actions and we are still making progress.

Be patient, patient, patient.......AND DETACH....

[Sakaro]

Be patient, patient, patient.......AND DETACH....

Not quite,

DETATCH, DETATCH, DETATCH....then be patient.

[Hope4us]

Just plugging along. WW was fairly quiet last night, but we did talk some. The last couple nights she's layed down to go to sleep quite early. Another sign that she's figuring it out or just tired? Limbo land, limbo land.....

I have noticed yesterday and this morning that her pullback may be easing. I'm really beginning to wonder if we won't get to a point where I'm going to suggest that we relocate for work back home if we're ever going to make progress. I just see her going to work everyday as a huge trigger in addition to her probably resenting me for her having a job she HATES. Maybe she doesn't even realize that she holds me responsible because we relocated for my position and this was the job the company found for her and she really dislikes it and deep inside she resents me for it? Hummm...something to ponder. I also think that with the long weekend coming up, she's possibly lightening up a litte because she'll be away from work for 3 days?

We'll see how the weekend goes. Still no word on whether WW is going to my mom's and the grad party on Monday. But I'm encouraged with her being not too up that she's not trying to arrange a visit from OM, or she asked him to come up and he declined. Could be why she's been down the last few days.

I talked to another good friend of ours yesterday and Carol (been one of WW's best friends for 20+ years) thinks she'll come around if I give her enough time, but Carol is worried that I might be the WAS if she doesn't come around soon. I told her that was a legimate worry because the longer this goes on the less I find myself thinking about a future with WW in it.

[Hope4us]

Ok, this is getting comical. Now WW has unblocked me on IM again. This latest blocking lasted two days. Baby step?

[kat727]

I can just see the see-saw going back and forth. Is it slowing down? I hope so. I'm rootin' for you.
kat

[Hope4us]

Yep Kat. The previous times she blocked me it would go for a couple weeks (beyond the first 7 month block). She's blocked me and unblocked me 3 times in the last two weeks, but this latest blocking was less than 2 days.

I thought this morning I had seen a shift in her mood. Seems like her pullbacks are getting shorter and not as severe. Good signs I think.

I appreciate the props.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Ok, this is getting comical. Now WW has unblocked me on IM again. This latest blocking lasted two days. Baby step?

Who cares? What difference does it make? She blocks you. She UNblocks you. For all we know, she's under some fogged-out, mistaken impression that -- unless she blocks you -- you can somehow read her IMs when she's chatting with OM.

Don't concern yourself with minutae such as this, H4U. Just work your plan.

Puppy

[Hope4us]

I really don't care Pup. I just think it's funny. And I don't go looking at IM to see if I'm blocked or unblocked. I use if for business purposes (and to chat with friends sometimes) and I had pulled it up to see if the friend of mine who is having the grad party for his daughter was on line. That's when I noticed she had unblocked me.

It really makes me more determined to continue the plan because it's obvious she's in a terribly conflicted place right now. For her to block/unblock so many times in the last couple weeks just shows me she's making some progress. Doesn't change anything.

It was just an observation.