Wow on the new email. If he knows all of this, why can't he start taking some action to change it? He needs a life coach or counselor or something. As much as it pains me to read your situation and how your husband treats you, I do believe there is a good man inside of him somewhere - otherwise you wouldn't be so willing to try.
M: 37 H: 36 Married: Aug 13, 2004 Decision to Divorce: July 20, 2008 Reconciled: September 2008 Current: Ambivalence