Hey, ROP - let's catch a high school baseball game on Saturday! Bring your kids. Santa Cruz HS is playing their CIF championship game as San Jose Municiple Field (where the Giants farm team plays) on Saturday at 1 PM. My buddies son is the coach for Santa Cruz. It is cheap fun. Think about it.
CBK
M=46 W=47 M=24 (together 26) D21, S19 Bomb 3/16/08 OM 3/28/08 WAW moved out 5/16 Divorce final 10/09
Also, don't tell W where you go or what you are doing. Mystery can be VERY good, especially in a sitch like yours where the S shows even a teeny tiny bit of regret....
Don't hesitate to throw out a little something suspicious like... "Gosh, I can't believe how aggressive younger women are...." Hee hee!!!! Or "Wow, there sure are a lot of attractive, single women at my gym..." Then when she questions you change the subject and refuse to talk further about what *might* be going on in your life.
One more thing, when you tell W you can't take the kids, say it's because you have some important plans.... Of course, offer NO details beyond that.
And keep looking hot!!! Yeeeeah!
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
Yes runningoutoftime - this is the way - it just so hard to keep up - the tiny regret came because I said there is a woman, a new friend, and she likes me a lot. I said we talk a lot and she is giving me very good advices. W said - "ok you have a relation, you are dating, good" - I said, no she is just a good friend and she likes me, I am not dating her , I am not ready, but I like to spend time with her..... I came up with all this story - it makes me feel better. W for the first time showed a bit of regret, when she said "there are things of me that she misses" but unfortunately was short lived. After the fight we had yesterday she said "I had a moment I missed us as a couple, but now I am sure that what I did is right". It takes so much effort to climb a small step and it is so easy to slip fast down -
Let's plan on meeting just inside the gate at 1:15 tomorrow at the San Jose Municiple Field - I have never been there... If it is a go, we can figure out the logistics.
CBK
M=46 W=47 M=24 (together 26) D21, S19 Bomb 3/16/08 OM 3/28/08 WAW moved out 5/16 Divorce final 10/09
You can buy them there - it is a high school game for a championship, so should be fun and relatively cheap. Probably like $5 or something like that. I will look up the location of the park and post on your thread later today.
CBK
M=46 W=47 M=24 (together 26) D21, S19 Bomb 3/16/08 OM 3/28/08 WAW moved out 5/16 Divorce final 10/09
So you have mentioned women (or a woman) friend.... do not talk about this anymore. But look hot and be VERY HAPPY. New clothes mister!!!!
And if she does ask (which she may if you are doing a good job being happy in front of her) make sure you mention you are meeting many great women out there and have a lot of nice female friends you talk with, but you don't plan to rush into anything, "no rebound relationships." Also say you would never seriously date anyone while you are still legally married because it wouldn't be fair to the other person. You would want to be completely free from baggage. Right now you are focusing on you and being a healthy fabulous guy for your next marriage.
Another thing to throw out there, is how surprising it is that there are sooo many attractive single women out there..... hey, life is good!
Keep in mind, you cannot say this in a way where it's obvious you are trying to make her jealous. She will see right through it. You have to wish her well. You have to wish her happiness with OM. I know it sounds crazy, but if she feels you are truly letting go of her (and truthfully moving on and meeting fabulous OW) then she has to start looking at what she's gaining by leaving rather than focusing on trying to "get away" from what she had. I hope that makes sense....
Think great and you become great. Think positive and you become positive... it really works!!!
Please keep in mind... all of this takes time. It doesn't happen overnight.
One more thing DO NOT FIGHT WITH HER!!!!!
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
running - I wish I could pull out something like that - the truth is I am still too attached, I am in pain, and I cannot hide it all the time. We fight - a lot - we just fought at the phone - the reason is because OM - I cannot stand it, it comes out in every discussion, today was "he is helping me a lot in this hard moment" - it was like a dagger in the guts. How can a mother with 2 small kids do something like that? Destroy a family. I am in love with the wrong person, and I can't help it. I shouldn't be in love, she doesn't deserve it. The irony is that she thinks she is very good to me - she tells me that EVERY TIME - "I am so good to you... bla bla bla - I aways help you...". I asked her: "help me with what"? I don't know what she thinks.... the only thing I know is that she has a relation with somebody else, and that is wrong - she doesn't see why, she said: I am divorcing you, I am done with you, I want somebody else.... nothing wrong with that". She is set - set -set. The thing is so bad that I feel I should stop trying to save the not savable...., so many months are gone and I don't feel an inch better. My parents keep saying that I am only hearting myself - I should forget about her - and they are probably right - I wish there was a pill I could take and she could become like a stranger to me. Time is not helping - Sorry for my complaining - I am venting like crazy -
