Lola Jr. (aka Isabella) was born this morning at 7:00 a.m. weighing in at 5 lbs 12 oz and 19 inches long...full head of black hair! Mother and baby are exhausted but doing great!!!
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Okay so I made the mistake of trying to text the ^%$#ing H yesterday to apologize once again. I know, I know, I am not supposed to. I know I have to leave him alone. I did send him an update on the new addition, but he is getting ready to leave for training for the next two weeks, and I have vowed to myself not to contact first.
My first instinct is to cling. I am having such a hard time with this...going for months talking almost every day and then nothing. I am having emotions ranging from anger to sadness to hurt to giving up. I don't really want to give up.
The only thing I can think to do now is not worry about him so much. He will deal with it in his own time. And during the day I am fine. Its at night...I have too much time on my hands. I think I need to put my cell phone far far away from reach so I don't have the urge to pick it up.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
I don't think contacting him about the baby is a big deal. Don't apologize any more though. And leave him be until he gets back from training or contacts you first.
Give him a chance to miss you.
Got any fun plans for the weekend?
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
Just BBQ with a friend whose husband just left for Korea. We can commiserate, and she is very supportive. Keeps telling me not to give up hope. I intend to stay VERY busy. You?
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
BBQ with my parents. Hopefully my dad doesn't bring up H. My dad hasn't been supportive as he thinks his D was the best thing he ever did even 35 years later.
I also may see my in laws. They've been great through the whole thing.
Between work and summer school, I haven't been home a lot so I've got some pretty ambitious cleaning goals as well. Not to mention catching up on sleep. Should be nice to just be around the apartment though.
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
I hear that. I just moved about five weeks ago, and although I am unpacked, I think I would like to reorganize my closet. My H loaned me boxes that I am supposed to give back, so I have to hang on to them, but I have to find a place to put them for now. Church on Sunday, I find that really helps although I was never much of a church goer I really like this one. Sleep will be very, very good...
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
I haven't gotten back into church even with everything going on. I occasionally feel like I should, but I've gotten away from most organized religion in the last 6 years and I don't actually see any reason to go back. I must prefer the more general spirituality and meditation stuff I get from aikido and my own life.
However, nothing beats getting up and singing some mornings lol.
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
Okay so I made the mistake of trying to text the ^%$#ing H yesterday to apologize once again. I know, I know, I am not supposed to. I know I have to leave him alone. I did send him an update on the new addition, but he is getting ready to leave for training for the next two weeks, and I have vowed to myself not to contact first.