There have been times when I could feel the ratcheting up of awareness/growth. I called them "clicks." More than just a mental thing, though--I could feel it in my gut, my chest.
I have been able to breathe in a new way the last 2 days.
Just let this be done. My husband is gone, and I am ready to reclaim my life.
The settlement is not all that I wanted but probably better than I would have gotten if we went to trial. He is still fighting on some of the language about overnights with my children in the same room--told the L to let that go if we have to, too. I'll protect my kids the best that I can, and get them whatever help they need to deal with the fallout from all of this mess. They have their own IC, who will give recommendations to both of us on how to handle things (he has allowed that language to stay in--that we would follow professional advice).
Let it all go, I told her. There is nothing left worth fighting about--I will not be drawn into squabbles over the surround system.
I wonder if he anticipates the anger. Or the indifference. I really don't care. That is all I have left at any given moment for him. At last, the right defense mechanism kicked in.
Can't wait to get away tomorrow am to LI to see my friend. Going to try to get out kayaking again, I hope. Also have the women's group meetup tonight--talking about Mary Magdalene. Things are good.
