I came across a post this morning intending to post it on CVA's thread, but couldn't get by the "not available-come back to try in a few minutes" message. So I'll just post it here before I loose it;
From Gucci Loafer-
Quote:
I have been following both of you closely. I do believe you are both "trying", but in my humble opinion I think both of your wives can still sense pursuit on both your parts. I am adamant in my beliefs that pursuit not only very seldom works in these situations, but actually delays or prolongs the inevitable. (which is that they usually don't come back until THEY FEEL YOU have let go.)
Both of you have done relationship talks and pursuit lately. I also think you are trying to justify the pursuit. I can tell you right now and told you before it doesn't work. As long as you keep up the belief that you will give it "one" last effort (again and again) then your situations will be up and down and allow you to feel like you are on a rollercoaster.
I believe you both have a choice to REALLY show your wives you have let go, without being jerks or mean spirited. I believe that women follow their feelings most of the time. The best way I have discovered in my own dating and married life for a woman to want to be with me is to show her that I am absolutely perfectly fine without her. That I am emotionally strong. That if she chooses to leave me then I will open the cage door as far as it can open. Freedom is the key to true love.
This philosophy has worked wonders for me in my dating life, love life, work life and married life. Getting to that place in your own life is the key, but I can't do it for you.
Shawshank Redemption......"Red, I decided that I can either get busy living, or get busy dying".... Think about it....
It isn't over until YOU say it is over guys..... Letting go doesn't mean it is over. It only means that you don't really care either way and really believe it... When that comes through to her, then you may see some changes. The great thing is that you won't care either way. I would "fake" it until I made it if I were in your shoes. It has worked wonder for me in my life.....
