H is Having Affair after all - Part 2

[Evie]

Thanks Seek, yes i do feel H is lacking any perspective other than his own selfish self atm, what he says is true about D2, but I love her unconditionally as i do all my kids and H for all their faults.

What did you mean by 'h feeling jerked around'? I don't want to jerk him around intentionally.

I don't want to have to go through what i'm facing. H has already made the move away, emotionally he's detached from the house already. But it's a slow process and won't be done overnight, so there is time to come to terms with it and learn as i go along.

Had a brief chat with D2 last night and just gently reminded her to be well mannered and polite/civil around H, she said she always says hello! I know the face she wears and i know about her attitude. I suggested also that it may be a good move for her to start looking for another job and get away from the emotional ties with H and OW at work. She said she would. I know she's in her conmfort zone atm and doesnt want any changes and i appreciate that, but I think deep down she knows she has to make the change.

Saw H last night, the interaction was good, same as normal, he talks to me, looks at me, he looked tired. He collected some stuff for the camping trip, we spoke about the business a little about the boys a little. he never asked me how my day was, he never does, come to think of it i never asked him how his day was, our lives always seemed so rushed. He doesn't seem uncomfortable around me, but then conversation is always safe subjects. It seems like the light has gone out of him, maybe us.

I'm whittering now, so i'll go.

I want to work on goals and catch up with reading DR this weekend.

Any suggestions for goals welcome as i can't seem to set any and i'm still struggling with what i can improve about me? I have identified the angry responses so i'm trying to work on that. I know that ignoring him makes him worse, but i don't always respond straight away. I'm also standing up for myself a lot more (assertively, not aggressively i hope?), i may have been a bit of a door mat before, although i didn't realise it, i thought i was just easy going. I do go out loads more now than i used to, so these are positives right?

Nearly forgot, i booked a flight for myself last night for 5 days to Rome in August (D1 will be in Rome that time and her and her friend invited me to spend some time seeing the sights with them), wow i'll be travelling for the first time on my own........ Just need to sort out some accomodation now. Feel a little weird doing it and not sure really about it (more worried about the money, but hey wtf).

Woke up for the first time this morning and H was not the first thing on my mind....yea