But you are home ALL DAY. I mean, you have hours and hours to clean! *headdesk*
LOL! Very funny, Michelle!
Well, I went ahead and sent H that e-mail. I....uhhh .....might not have put it quite as eloquently as Michelle suggested (I sent it before I read your post), but hey! You all oughta know me by now! I gotta fight fire with fire!
I wrote this to H:
I've made some inquiries about the cost of childcare for all three boys, so that maybe I could get a real job.
Here's what one provider sent me. Full day care for (S3), the childcare provider taking the boys to and from school, watching all three no later than 6pm every weekday.
$530/week or $2,120 per month ($2,650 if it is a 5-week month).
Let me know what you think please.
Ugh - be back in a moment. Niece and S3 are both calling for me. They're supposed to be asleep!
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
Ok, so I'm not sure if H saw the e-mail or not before he left work. He called me before he did, asking if I needed anything from the store. Also, his cellphone died and he wanted to see if I had tried calling him (he was calling from a work phone). Anyway, he sounded unusually pleasant.....I mean, really.....so it got me thinking that perhaps he did read the e-mail. But then I thought nah, it's gotta be for some other reason, like he's at work so he has to be, as Jeff pointed out, civil.
I think that was spot on. I left the house sometime before 7pm to pick up S12 from his martial arts class, then came back around a quarter after, and I saw that H was home. I left the car running and told the kids to go inside. I went looking for H and heard the shower going, so I went back into the kitchen and told S8 to let Dad know when he got out that I went to the store and would be back soon.
About 10 minutes later, my cell rings.
Me: Hello? H: Where are you? Me: I just got to the store. Didn't S8 tell you? H: Yeah, he did. What store are you at? Me: XXXXXX. H: What do need to get from there? Me: I need to get several things. Laundry detergent, fabric softener, toothpaste, among other things. H: (Getting louder) You couldn't do this during the day? Me: I could have but didn't. H: Why did you wait until now to go to the store? Me: I don't know why, but I'm going now. Is there something wrong with this? H: When are you going to be back? Me: Probably about an hour. H: (Furious) An hour?!! WTF did you wait until now to go to the store, (GF)?!! Did you not think that I might want to go out or something?! You have ALL DAY to do this sh**, and you wait until now! WTF is wrong with you?! It's your job to make sure this sh** gets done during the day! I went out and did my job, and now I want to go hang out with my friends and have some beers while watching the game! Me: I'm sorry you're so upset, but there is nothing wrong with me. H, you are acting like a child right now. You're throwing a tantrum because you can't have your way at the moment. Where are the kids? Can they hear you? H: No! They're inside! I...I can't believe you do this sh**! Me: The longer you want to keep me on the phone, the longer til I get back. You can always go out with your friends after I return. H: Such BS!! *CLICK!*
You better believe that I took my sweet time at the store (it's only 5 minutes from the house). But I was back in exactly an hour as I said I would be.
I'll keep it short this time , but yes, another argument. It was basically about the same thing - I should've gone to the store during the day so he could have been able to leave sooner rather than later. His day was so rough, how did mine compare to his? I had the two little ones, but that was no comparison. Yada yada yada.
We got into the lack of trust there is in this R, so I asked him about his phone and why does he keep it hidden. I asked if that OP still tried calling him, and he said, "No, she does not, and I have not talked to her or anyone else. I keep it out of the house just in case something like that does happen." I said, "You don't think it would be better to have the phone here, in the open, that way if she did call, you could turn the phone over to me and say look who it is? How do you want me to handle this? Rather than keeping it from me and never telling me about it?" H said, "No, I don't think it would be better." I said, "You think it's better to keep secrets from me than it is to be open and honest with me in order to rebuild trust?" H said, "Yes, I do."
Wow. That was all I could say. Wow.
Then it was more I don't love you's, I don't care about you's, blah blah blah.......Isn't it sad that this doesn't have that much of an impact on me as it did just a week ago?
So anyway, he's out right now. Don't know where or with who. I don't care all that much anymore. I might feel differently in a day or so, but right now, I really don't care if he is out filling his needs or whatever. If he is, then maybe he'll go back to treating me the way he did during his A. With kindness, and giving me whatever I wanted (other than his time) to keep me off his back. *Sigh*....I'd really settle for the kindness for now.
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
I would be one of those parents who set up hidden cameras and stuff like that! I don't trust anyone other than family to watch my babies, especially S3! He's still very young and vulnerable.
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
*headdesk* 
.....might not have put it quite as eloquently as Michelle suggested (I sent it before I read your post), but hey! You all oughta know me by now! I gotta fight fire with fire! 
But I was back in exactly an hour as I said I would be.