thegoodfight- I did your suggestion of thinking about my H and how much I would miss my S, and how much compassion my H has. I will continue to do this. I have kind of done it before, but maybe I need to do this more consciously.
Mark- I think about OM and H very differently right now. I think of my H with respect, compassion, and warm/comfortable feelings. The OM gets me feeling sad because I miss him, wondering what he is doing, miss the passion, miss how he made me laugh and smile all the time, his touch, how he held my hand, how we did things together, how proud of me he was.
As for triggers, they are EVERYWHERE. When I drive, I think of him. I look for his car. Whenever I have a lull, he is likely to "slip in". So, I've been trying to be as busy as possible.
I'll hold on to your advice about the phone number. I'll see if the hang ups happen anytime soon, and also try to talk to H more about it.
Jeff- Thanks for remembering me. Things here are ok. Trying to keep busy. The list......one of the things we did together was make lists of things that each other can do to help our relationship. I posted my list a while back. He showed me his. By looking at what we feel are the most important things, we know where we are coming from. The list was suppose to be ways that could build trust between us: Him in that I won't cheat on him again, and me, that if I recommit to him, it won't be for nothing.
Update: Yesterday, I spent time with H doing outdoor work. It was nice. He loves doing that. Nothing else eventful. Today, we didn't have much time together because he works tonight, but things were ok. He's been hugging and kissing me every day when he gets home for work, no matter what. I like this change. I decided to clean out the coat closet and wash all the winter coats, etc. Kept me busy all day in between time with son (we made oatmeal cookies!). It helped me NOT think of the OM. This led me to cleaning out my closet. Note: When H came back after I told him about OM, it was fast. I asked him to come home the day I told him and he has been back ever since. It was 2 years of him living elsewhere. Anyway, his clothes were in the spare room. I have made room in my closet for his stuff again. I hope he likes that I did that. I'm really trying to do loving actions so that the loving feelings become stronger. I also got rid of a bunch of clothing gifts that I got from OM to help with memories. There are some important things that OM is going through today and tomorrow. It is very hard to not know how everything went. It's like abandoning a friend....I know, I know....I shouldn't give a crap about him......I know.
