I know what you mean about staying on the high road and not wanting to be in any way mean or evil. I think that's admirable. However, you are in a very uncomfortable position having husband there and you'd like to move on with your life...
How nice that OW already feels insecure. Perhaps you can increase that so that OW forces your H out of the house. Here's something to think about.... since your X2B still finds you attractive and is interested, you might want to nicely alert OW ("friend to friend" ;-). That it would be best if she encourage your husband to move in with her because there's a lot of sexual tension and attraction in the home.
Basically you aren't being evil, you are sharing the truth and alerting OW to a potential problem that could hurt her relationship with your H.
Olive you are a better person than me.... if I were in your shoes, and had a confused H, I'd be encouraging him to cheat on OW with me.
Last edited by runningoutoftime; 05/19/0805:56 PM.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
How nice that OW already feels insecure. Perhaps you can increase that so that OW forces your H out of the house. Here's something to think about.... since your X2B still finds you attractive and is interested, you might want to nicely alert OW ("friend to friend" ;-). That it would be best if she encourage your husband to move in with her because there's a lot of sexual tension and attraction in the home.
Basically you aren't being evil, you are sharing the truth and alerting OW to a potential problem that could hurt her relationship with your H.
Olive you are a better person than me.... if I were in your shoes, and had a confused H, I'd be encouraging him to cheat on OW with me.
I couldn't have put it better myself. Friend to friend, I almost choked.
Whats it going to hurt?
I am sorry about your little one though, that is one of my biggest fears. That would put me just about over the edge and I'm so sorry you have to deal with that. You are definately a stronger person than I...
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
Personally I would stay on the high moral ground. As you don't agree on what H and OW is doing (having an A) and being selfish, I would not act the same way. Having said that, there is no need for you to feel miserable and be a doormat (which I know you are not!!!) This is tough. I persaonlly also would not contact OW as in my mind, she is not even worth my paying attention to. I really don't know what I would do in this situation. May be sit down with H and states that since "we are staying in the same house in this odd situation as housemates/co-parents, let's lay down some rules about how we behave?" Not sure as I can sense that H will not follow the rules. How dare him still initiate sex with you while proceeding with D? That's cheating on OW , ha ha.
LO, take care and stay sane. Obviously your H is not.
>>As you don't agree on what H and OW is doing (having an A) and being selfish, I would not act the same way.<<
I personally believe if one is still legally married, then sex with a "husband" is not technically an affair. However, emotionally and physically Olive's husband would be having an "affair" on OW. But from Olive's perspective it's not an affair. He is still her H. Until it's finalized he's legally her husband.
Ourcrisis you are right. OW is not worth paying attention to, but the idea here is to get H out of the house so Olive can have some space to herself. And actually, if she has even a little spark of desire to "save her marriage" (which I don't think she has at this point), this *might* do it. A friend of mine actually did this and the younger, beautiful OW became very jealous of the W, H got tired of OW's possessive jealousy and that relationship ended.
>>let's lay down some rules about how we behave<<
Nice in theory and it makes sense, but I think it's unlikely. D creates a lot of weird situations and reactions. People don't act reasonable or sane when they are in the midst of D.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
People don't act reasonable or sane when they are in the midst of D.
Amen to that! It's amazing how one day you get agreement on something and the next.. well.. the opposite it done.. CRAZY!
I've already talked about ground rules if we are living in the same house. It is just nuts that he would even want to be here. But, the fact that he is will no doubt make ow question what he's doing .. hehehe... She has always been the one pushing for more commitment, more time together, blah blah blah.. I'm POSITIVE this is NOT part of her master plan.
But, the fact that he is will no doubt make ow question what he's doing .. hehehe... She has always been the one pushing for more commitment, more time together, blah blah blah.. I'm POSITIVE this is NOT part of her master plan.
I know having your H still at home is not part of your plan either but I can totally relate to your hehehe! You know OW ain't liking it one bit!
Hummmmm.... probably the best "revenge" for OW is to DB and make sure H has such a pleasant time living with you, he can only further regret the idea of leaving.
Since you can't kick him out and have to live with this sitch, you may as well use it to your advantage. Now that the weather is heating up you need to start wearing less clothing. Expecially when OW is nearby. In fact, invite her over (for dinner) so you can all be one "happy family" and she can see you (the perfect cook and hostess) with cleavage down to your navel!!!
And that way when she leaves she knows he's with you and your cleavage!!! Oh boy!!! If I were in your shoes I'd have fun with this sitch!!!
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
Hummmmm.... probably the best "revenge" for OW is to DB ....
ROOT - what do you mean by DB'ing now??
Originally Posted By: runningoutoftime
In fact, invite her over (for dinner) so you can all be one "happy family" and she can see you (the perfect cook and hostess) with cleavage down to your navel!!!
And that way when she leaves she knows he's with you and your cleavage!!! Oh boy!!! If I were in your shoes I'd have fun with this sitch!!!
OMG!! You make me laugh ROOT! There is no way in he!! I'm letting ow near my house.. Hmm... unless, I'm serving something that causes severe dysentery!!!
OMG!! You make me laugh ROOT! There is no way in he!! I'm letting ow near my house.. Hmm... unless, I'm serving something that causes severe dysentery!!!
Hi Olive! That's exactly how I would feel too!!! I do think that everyone has a good point about trying to have fun with this. And if you torture the OW as a result, that would be frosting I guess! Karen
I know you've been DBing all along, but I also know you are tired of the situation and probably would like to tell him off too... I'm just saying to try and stay emotionally detached despite the insane and hurtful things he's doing. That HAS to be difficult because he's living there with you and pushing it in your face.
So.... hey, for that dinner party, I think I have a recipe for some ex-lax brownies here somewhere....
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
Karen