Sorry, Tal! Yes, the boys and I are doing as best as we can right now.
Just catching up on chores today since the kids are home, so H will have nothing to complain about when he gets home from work. But I know he'll still find something......
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
I think if he moves out again, it will be permanently, but honestly, if anyone's going to leave, it will be me with the boys. I can't afford to stay in the house whereas H can. I doubt he would try to talk me into staying here like we were before, but even if he did, that is something I no longer want him to hold over my head.
I forgot to mention my talks with MIL yesterday and SIL this morning. MIL said, "I know he's my son, but, (GF), I do not care for the way he treats you. I can't stand watching him hurt you like this! I just want to bop him upside his head so bad!"
SIL said pretty much the same thing. She said, "I know you're happy he's here, but he's not treating you right." I told her, "No, I'm NOT happy he's here. Before he came back, he said he knew this would take time to fix and was ready for it, but after he moved in, it's like he just expected everything to automatically fall into place with it all being how he wanted it to be."
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
I also doubt he would miss anything other than the kids. He's made it perfectly clear that he cares nothing for me and doesn't like me, even more so since the boys know the whole story.
I think he would just do as he did when he first moved out.....Ask his sister to hook him up with someone.
He said he felt he was meant to be alone, but he really doesn't want to be. The hardened coldness he shows me makes me wonder if he is once again in contact with the girl he dated for the last year so. It happened just before he came back, you know, when he promised it would stop. She called him a number of times. He got "weak" and talked to her again.
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
You guys have gotten stuck since he came home. He is angry because his life is not going the way he planned, and moving in didn't go perfectly just like moving out didn't go perfectly. Well, genius, life ain't perfect! If he wants that he should sign up to play sleeping beauty at Disneyland!
Worse yet, he is taking it out on everyone who loves him. Something needs to change.
Maybe you making an effort to support his hobbies would help. Maybe it won't.
Maybe moving out would wake him up, maybe it won't.
What are you willing to try?
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
If he is still in contact with that person, it is over. I will not go through that pain again.
What makes me think there's still something going on are the lies that are still happening. He called me yesterday to say that he was going car shopping after work since his car is jacked (he blew the engine). Turns out he arranged to borrow his sister's old car prior to calling me.......sooooo.......why not tell me about that, too? I think he was just coming up with a story to not be here. So where was he then? I don't know, but I'm thinking of asking. I didn't get a chance to yesterday because he jumped on me as soon as I got home from work.
Another thing, his cellphone. He doesn't bring it inside. It's hidden somewhere, either in the garage or in his car. This is exactly what he did during his A.
He's always going somewhere, and as soon as he leaves and gets into his car, he's on the phone. I've watched from the window. This was also his behavior during the A.
My sister said something to me when I was visiting her last weekend. She said it's like H feels that I "owe him" for all these years. I think she's right.
I took so much away from him - his freedom, his choices, his money, his life - and he wants me to pay now.
I really don't think I can keep at this.
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
You could ask him if he really believes he has given this a fair shot if he's still involved with someone else. Puppy could probably come up with a much better, pointed truth dart...
Thanks for sharing the story of how the two of you got together. Sounds like a rocky road (reminds me of my 9+ year relationship with my ex boyfriend, except we made a different choice with the pregnancy and I was 18 at the time - sorry if that angers anyone, I'm not proud, but it's my reality).
I think it's pretty telling when your MIL/SIL are horrified by the way their own son/brother treats his wife.
GF, you deserve to be CHERISHED.
M: 37 H: 36 Married: Aug 13, 2004 Decision to Divorce: July 20, 2008 Reconciled: September 2008 Current: Ambivalence
