Thanks for the encouragement. I do look at that as a positive. I did make me feel good that she actually texted me and asked if I wanted anything from Taco Bell (granted that was after taking care of the kids and cleaning out the garage all day....but at least it was unsolicited). I just fear that she is just doing this slowly to make it easier on her. I do typically show a good PMA (with occassional set backs). When I get settled in, GAL is high on my agenda. I think next week will be good for us, I will have the kids, my Mom is going to be visiting and she will be the first time that she will be waking up to an empty house (well sort of, our niece is living with her for the summer and but there is little chance of her waking up before 10)
TwinDad Me 39, W 36, M 11 W - MLC, WAW???? 2 Kids B/G 3 YRS Old Start of the Long and Bumpy Road..... On the verge of piecing.....a new beginning
Ok, I think I am needing some help on some small goals to help me see some positive change, something I can see. Here are some thoughts I have for goals:
1) Go to one of our childrens events/classes together in the same car as opposed to meeting there 2) Have her ask me how I am doing or how my day was (I never heard this much through 11 years, and very seldom now) 3) Have her give me a compliment on something, anything 4) Have her initiate a text or call that has nothing to do with the kids or logisitics (she actually did this a little bit when I was on the trip with the kids) 5) Have her come over to my place to see the kids and stay a little after they go to bed or take a nap
I guess I would like to have some of these within the next two weeks
A little longer term would be
1) To go out on a date together (she had mentioned prior to separating that she wanted to take things slow again and date each other a little bit) 2) To recieve a thoughtful gift for Fathers Day 3) To have her hug me
Let me know what you think....are they good goals, did you have any others that you used in the early days of separation?
TwinDad Me 39, W 36, M 11 W - MLC, WAW???? 2 Kids B/G 3 YRS Old Start of the Long and Bumpy Road..... On the verge of piecing.....a new beginning
Well, I just got to check off #1 on my short term list. She blamed it on the weather being yucky.....and perhaps that is all it is....but I will enjoy it none the less in a very relaxed and cool manner :-)
TwinDad Me 39, W 36, M 11 W - MLC, WAW???? 2 Kids B/G 3 YRS Old Start of the Long and Bumpy Road..... On the verge of piecing.....a new beginning
Well, I just got to check off #1 on my short term list. She blamed it on the weather being yucky.....and perhaps that is all it is....but I will enjoy it none the less in a very relaxed and cool manner :-)
That was a fast achievement. You didn't say there had to be any speacial reason why you'd go in the same car. So cross #1 off your list!!
Jen
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
I guess to me going in the same car is like being a family. This weekedn she had me meet her at their gym class and this morning I asked her if she wanted me to meet her at the dance studio or the house, she said to meet her at the studio. Who knows...maybe we will have dinner afterwards
TwinDad Me 39, W 36, M 11 W - MLC, WAW???? 2 Kids B/G 3 YRS Old Start of the Long and Bumpy Road..... On the verge of piecing.....a new beginning
Yesterday ended pretty well. We went to my daughters dance class for one of the last classes where they actually dance in their costumes.....she isn't even 3, We were both so proud of her. It was nice to see her do well because she had missed a lot of classes do to moving and a couple vacations.
We even went out to dinner afterwards for hibachi. The kids loved watching the chef cook the food. It was a nice dinner. I kept a good PMA throgh out the whoel thing and help the W tuck them into bed. I even took it upon myself to leave before I was asked to. I did hear some sadness in her voice when she said bye. Some minor positive signs.
The W has a party to go to tonight and a concert to go to tomorrow night so it looks like I will have the kids earlier than expected
TwinDad Me 39, W 36, M 11 W - MLC, WAW???? 2 Kids B/G 3 YRS Old Start of the Long and Bumpy Road..... On the verge of piecing.....a new beginning
Sounds like a good plan. It might be a good night for Chuckee-Cheese. It is basically a Pizza place for kids with games and fun things for them to do (I'm not sure if they had them in Ven or Can). They love pizza and they love games
I am so excited about the kids seeing there room at Da-Da's house. They haven't been here yet. I decorated their room one half Disney Cars for my son and one half Disney Princess for my Daughter. It sounds like it would be hideous....and it probably is, but I know they will love it.
I also got them a couple new toys for my house to make it new and exciting for them. A tool table for him and a Princess vanity with talking mirrors (I know she is going to love it).
I basically have them for the next 9 days since I have them the next two nights and next week is my week with them as well! I hope they adjust well. I think the weeks when I have them will be easier to pull back on.
Thanks for stopping by. This board has made this "experience" so much easier.
TwinDad Me 39, W 36, M 11 W - MLC, WAW???? 2 Kids B/G 3 YRS Old Start of the Long and Bumpy Road..... On the verge of piecing.....a new beginning
Chuckee cheese huh? They aren't in Venezuela but I'm not sure about Canada (it's been a long time) I always think of the movies when I hear Chuckee Cheese. Sounds like a tonne of fun for a couple of toddlers! I know my D6 would have a blast there.
Your W needs to see what it's like to not have you around. Take it from me...when we first S I called and wanted to be around him. I didn't give him a chance to miss me at all. It took me quite some time to even half-way detach.
Jen
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
I have actually been pretty decent about not calling her....I have been letting her initiate the contact. I admit I look forward to it. The hard part is playing a little hard to get per se. I do wish a read this book six months ago if not 10 years ago (along with a few others). I do agree with you she needs to miss me. In the time I have been over there I got a kick out how everything was over there. There was a bunch of laundry that needed to be done, there was nothing in the pantry to feed the kid. I even got a little kick listening to my W and niece talk about going grocery shopping and my W talk about not getting good sleep because she was being dsiturbed in the middle of the night by the kids. These were all things I took care of when we were living together.
I continue to be her friend and tell her she is doing fine but I can tell she is starting to appreciate everything I did around the house that she might have taken for granted. I doubt this will be what makes her come around, but maybe it will helpopen up her eyes a little bit
TwinDad Me 39, W 36, M 11 W - MLC, WAW???? 2 Kids B/G 3 YRS Old Start of the Long and Bumpy Road..... On the verge of piecing.....a new beginning
