I found making a list of 3-4 VERY small signs that would tell me things were moving in the right direction very helpful. Things like 'maintain eye contact for a few minutes' - things I probably wouldn't have noticed if I hadn't identified them beforehand.
It is likely that your H is aware that all of your efforts are geared towards keeping him at home, and this 'pressure' makes it difficult for him to move away from the spot he has chosen to stand, that leaving is his only choice. A 180 for you would be to at least seem to be moving towards the separation with enthusiasm, if you can pull that off. It may make you feel better too, if you can find a way to focus on the things that will be good if he leaves.
I was really quite excited about spending the time that my children were with my H getting involved in politics at some level (I've been a green lefty for as long as I can remember) and meeting people (men) that I have more in common with. My H and I don't see eye to eye in a lot of areas, although there are many points at which we do agree. I've been trying to tell myself that that would be true with anyone, that you would 'fit' at some points and not at others, they would just be different points, but I really struggle with how the differences between my H and myself affect my feelings about him.
A book you might find helpful is For Women Only, by Shaunti Feldhahn. I wish I had read it years ago. The author is quite religious and throws that in a lot, but I found I could ignore it and take only what I thought was valuable. That was also true of a book called Healing the Hurt in Your Marriage. Can't remember the authors, but it's a husband and wife.
As for the weekend, just ignore his mood, unless he's happy, in which case try to respond as long as it lasts and don't let it get to you when it stops. Pack for yourself and the girls, let him do his own thing. Make plans for activities with your children while you are there (will you have Internet access?) and have fun. You can politely tell your H what your plans are and indicate that he's welcome to join you; go on ahead with your plans cheerfully if he decides to stay behind. I agree with Grace - don't talk about it ahead of time. To him, it will still feel like a R talk.
