I hope you get more responses here. Ready for my take? I have only done the proverbial 180's where I have seen it to be in my best interest. For example something I am/was doing needed to change. Did it need to change for H to stay/come home? There's the rub. In the beginning everything I did was with that as a focus. Did it work? Noooo. Now, I'm glad it didn't. I'm to the point (most days anyway) where I see things I need to do. Not so he comes home (and yes, ultimately I am hoping for the chance at a chance), but so that my life is back on track (um, that would be the track I want/need it to be on). As much as I miss him, I'm not ready for him to come home. If that were to happen now, well let's just say disaster is a word that comes to mind. Why? Because I'd go right back to walking on eggshells and trying to make him happy. I know this about me as sure as I know I'm breathing. I clearly have some work to do. Like all things in my life there are days when I'm stronger and days when I'm not. I need alot more of the stonger days before I'm ready to tackle anything we might do to be able to dream together again.
So, why are you doing the 180's? For you or for him? Are they real (as in permanent)? What kind of responses do you get? From the way you posed this post, I assume nothing.
It's a fine line to try different things and monitor the results vs doing it all to "get them back." DBing is really about us and our ability to come out of this as whole and better people. The alternative is to spen the rest of our lives destroyed and untrusting of any type of relationship.
What kind of 180's did you have in mind and what kind of outcome do you see?
