Still Working on Us

[LucasE]

Hi, thanks for the update. My turn to chime in. I am dealing with a similar situation. It seems like you are doing well at communicating with your W. Sure, what you are getting from her is a bummer, to put it very lightly, but the open communication is key. I only read your most recent thread so forgive me for not knowing it all. I think her confusion is great. You are half way there. If we are to believe in DBing, (it has not yet yielded complete results for me) then yes, set her free. No pressure. You are good with this time apart, even if you are not. One other source that I have found says, love her back to you.
I would like to address your bullet points:
No dates. That must seem like the wrong move but give her time. I am in the same boat, however, when a family reunion came along she changed her mind that day and came along. When xmas came along, she changed her mind that day as well. So, try not to throw your hands in the air and try to predict where she will be in June. Just be cool, or at least look like it.
Dating others. Oh boy. Your DB friends won't like that. Other save-your-marriage approaches suggest dating others second only to acting happy. One web book guarantees you will get her back if you date someone else. I am choosing the DB method for now. Sure, I haven't "been" with a woman for six months and am freaking out, but, I want her to come back because I am the right choice, not because she felt threatened. Now you already have had some action and she didn't like it but she didn't come back either. I'm waiting. I'll let other DBers back me up on this. I think they will. Her saying she wants to date is awful, but I would go with the concept that she is not going to do better than you and one day she will realize that. That is awful, but you might have to wait. Work on yourself, for yourself and she might wake up. I'm not sure I was helpful on this one. Remember, I am in your boat, so my ideas are not proven.
Limit interactions with her family. Yea, my W's family adores me, but they are hers. I'm hoping they will put in a good word for me whenever they can. Maybe let them know you are backing off of them for her sake and they will work for you. Teaming up with them is bad. Let them go for now. They will always be there for you whatever happens.
These are just my observations. You seem like Mr Right to me. Try your best to hold on, chin up. Be with the kids when you can.