It sounds like the reason your H will not go back to C with you is because "he let too many emotions show"...the more you read here the more you will see that the minute an MLCer shows affection, niceness, openness etc...they tend to back off.
We have similar stories... just opposite. My H is 6 years older than me, my 1st M, his 2nd.
I think it being the 2nd for you it is easier to understand that marriage is not a bed of roses all the time. We all hit hard times. My H left right around the 7 yr mark. I guess he had to scratch his "itch". H also S from 1st W at 7 yrs.
The best advice I can give you now is to just act as if you are doing fine no matter what kind of anger he deflects on you.
Your H could not stand to see you hurting, that is why the crying bothered him so much. Maybe he felt helpless and did not know how to help you. your H sounds like me...a fixer, I can't stand to see people upset and hurting, I feel compelled to do something about it...
Your H had no control over the cancer and that lack of control could have made him feel worthless to you...WE know that is not the truth, but that may be his perception.
Your positive is that he still lives at home. Start DBing for you and he will see the changes.
