He's "done". Period.

[klm]

My H, is so matter of fact, and ready to be done. I mean, 5 weeks ago I didn't know he felt this way, yesterday he tells me he wants to file this month.

Mine was that quick too. H not only said ILYBINILWY, he said I NEVER loved you. Hard to take, but for whatever reason he wasn't himself. Well, actually I am finally getting some insight as to what was going on...a lot having to do with his job, but it has been almost a year.

How did we get here, and more importantly, why can he not give our 12 years more than 5 weeks to see if we could work our way back to each other.

In his mind he probably has. That is why you need to give him some space. You can't convince him of anything right now. The more you push, the more he pushes back.

All I hear over and over is "I KNOW HOW I FEEL. And it will NEVER chnage". I get so upset, because how can ANY of us truly know how we will feel about anything in the future. But then he gets pissed and feels like I invalidate his feelings when I suggest that.

I heard this too. Like I said you aren't going to be able to convince him right now. Don't invalidate his feelings...right or wrong...he has a right to them.

My God, how do you all do this for months. I've been totally unsuccesful for less than a week.

Because it gets easier with time. I was a basketcase the first three or four months. Your feelings and the things you are saying are normal....but the sooner you realize that making him feel guilty and trying to reason with him isn't working the better off you will be.

I'm just praying that he'll be in the house alone for for days, and maybe realize......... "wow, this is how it will be forever" and maybe get a clue.

Don't count on it, this is a LONG road and 3 days probably isn't going to do it.

I don't think I read anything about it, but is there any reason to suspect an A? Just wondering since his change of heart seems to be so quick.

I know you are going on the trip this weekend, but what other things are you doing for yourself? Are there things you did before M or even in the beginning that you have quit doing? Are you exercising? DBing is for you and your sanity. If you work on yourself you will be a better person with or without him. If he comes back then that is the icing on the cake.