Okay, so...I am glad that you have decided to dark on your H. Frankly, I wanna drop kick his ass into next week. He plays all these stupid junior high games...and thinks he is soooo cool for doing it, I bet.
I left the boards because I needed a break and I was very busy. I have spent time meditating and praying...it has been great! I can see things so much clearer now. In making the choice to get away from your H's drama...you let go. I let go to a certain extent of LL and his drama and it was wonderful...I am learning and growing...
One day this will be over for us, sweets. I promise.
Hugs, Vali
Aug '06: H moved out July '08: H had a kid with the OW May 12 '09: emancipation day
"Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." -Ferris Bueller
YOu know another good thing that has happened is that I feel empathy for him. Never thought I would feel that but now I do and I think I needed to meditate to get there...to really just let my feelings be what they were...
I am not saying that I haven't had a backslide or two...I mean, let's face it: this is damn hard.
And again, I don't know how this will end up...not that any of us knows that either...but I think I have begun to think more positive thoughts...about myself. About life in general.. and that has been so good for me.
I need that so much right now...my hysterectomy is sometime next month and I am really need to focus on my health right now..it is making detaching and gal somewhat easier...
Aug '06: H moved out July '08: H had a kid with the OW May 12 '09: emancipation day
"Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." -Ferris Bueller
Yeah, I had some major anger issues...not saying that it is all gone...but again, I have been praying and meditating and asking God for guidance and miraculalously it has come slowly!
I know God will bless me and all the things I wish for will happen. I know that God will give me only what I can handle. God never gives us something we can't. We just have to find it within ourselves...it really is there...
I recommend that people eat chocolate all the time...sure did help me!!! LOL!
In all seriousness, getting away and being alone was really tremendous. I know feel that I am better equipped to help others...I am no longer in that ugly place anymore....
Hugs! Vali
Aug '06: H moved out July '08: H had a kid with the OW May 12 '09: emancipation day
"Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." -Ferris Bueller
Strange things happening...LL is being nice...but sending cryptic messages (nothing new) but I am actually getting courageous enough to enquire...for example:
LL: ...just sang with the mariachis (apparently he was in a bar)...but I don't want you to think that I stand up or grab the mic. I just ramble on, basically....
Vali: HA! Doubt u ramble ever! You always seem to know what u r doing...u don't do anything without thinking it through
LL: Yes, I ramble more often than not. And I must respectfully disagree about being smart and thinking things through. I kind of see myself the opposite - doing things without thinking them through! :-) (he even typed the smiley...WTF?)
Vali: So why do you things w/o thinking them through?
LL: I wish I could say I had a real thought out plan and often think I do. And I’m often wrong. . . :-) (again with the smiley!)
Vali: What the heck are you planning?!?!?!?!? LOL!
Okay, so the exchange was friendly-like...who knows what is going on in this exchange...no reply yet but I don't expect one either...I am always surprised when he responds...part of my 'letting go' thing. It is so wonderfully liberating!
I need to go purchase a big bag of M & M's...or a Heath bar...
Love to all the peeps! GO SPURS GO!!!!
Aug '06: H moved out July '08: H had a kid with the OW May 12 '09: emancipation day
"Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." -Ferris Bueller
