Start of the long and bumpy road........

[TwinDad]

Jen,

I feel she is in a MLC, because she seems so unhappy with everything in her life; her family, her career, the time she spends with the kids, the area of the country we live in. I have heard several times the IYUBIANILWY. She started what I believe to be an EA with an old boyfriend from highschool. She is very defensive about anything and everything to do with our relationship. Without my influence all of her friends and family are telling her that she is making a mistake. This seems to only galvanize her resolve to go forward this (i.e. don't tell me what to do). She can't get rid of everything else, but she can get rid of me.....her best friend who is making changes to make himself a better husband and friend.

I'm not saying I haven't contributed to this or even catalyzed it, but I think we could all play that chicken and egg game.

When I read the stuff about MLC in DR it just seemed to click....perhaps I am just looking for a diagnosis to start to make some sense of all this.

Amy,

Thanks for the support. It just seems like such a fine line to walk sometimes....almost like walking on egg shells. In the time leading up to this separation she had a few areas she would always complain about. I actually made changes in those areas and instead of giving me credit for those changes she says I am being a whimp and just giving in. The main change I have tried to make is trying to be solution goal oriented, instead of identfying the obstacles in a decision and just presenting those, I present the solution to the obstacles as starting point for discussion.

I have noticed though lately when she is getting real sarcastic with me, I will stop and say something along the lines "I understand you are upset, but you don't need to talk to me that me, I deserve to be treated better than that". This seems to change her demeanor for the better. Thanks for sending Frank my way.