He's "done". Period.

[7 Year Itch]

Well, me and the girls leave tomorrow on our weekend, and I'm just praying that he'll be in the house alone for for days, and maybe realize......... "wow, this is how it will be forever" and maybe get a clue. I know he probably won't, but I'm stlil praying.

D6's graduation was cute yesterday. Stuff was ok with us all there. A bit uncomfortable with my Mom there. This is the first time she's been around him since I told her. Then when we got home last night my H told me my Mom invited him over for Dinner Friday night (we'll be gone). He said he'll think about it, but doesn't know. I told him I'm sure she wasn't going to yell or anything, she's just like me. Hurt, and doesn't understand. My family adores him.

I'm sort of hoping he'll go, but also I know there is nothing she can say that I haven't to sort of "wake" him up.

D6 had a sleepover last night with her Brownie troop, so I (again I suck at this LRT thing) told him if he'd like to sleep in our bed last night he was welcome too. The bed downstairs has not been ideal for him for a variety of reasons. I said since she wouldn't be here to see there wouldn't be any confusion. Our other D is young enough she doesn't get it at all. So he paused, and said he would but didn't want to have to move his alarm clocks etc. I very calmly said.. "it's ok just to say no thanks". Well he must have realized his "excuses" were lame because next thing I know while I was in bed working on my computer, he came up with his clocks and stuff, plugged them in and came to bed.

I know it meant nothing to him. But I felt like it was the slightest effort on his part. And even though we were about as far apart in bed as 2 people can be, it felt so good just to look over and see him.

Everytime something like that happens I think. "Is this the last time we'll sleep in the same bed?".

I really need to get a grip on this LRT thing. I know the begging, crying, pleading thing is not good, and I'm really trying to get a grip on that. But I just have the hardest time with not being totally honest with my feelings and telling him where I stand. I think he'd no in an instand if suddenly I just stopped talking about stuff, and just acted like everything was fine. I do NOT have a poker face.

I know I need to try though. I really do. God, I just pray that something will hit him this weekend.

Chris