ALl right guys I have to put into perpective just what i feel and how it affects me and our R.

Quote:
[/quote]Is it increased talking what you're shooting for with your H to start with?[quote]


Yes this is what I want.
I don't feel that we can move forward without this.

Like H had said about what his R was before and what it is now is almost the exact sitch I have (had.

H has come a long way but I feel can not move any farther no matter how patient and understanding I have been because he has been unable to budge with his feelings toward EA OW. He says he wants those IL feelings back but he can't as long as he still has them for her, and he still does.(said it without coming right out and saying it).

When I wrote my letter I told him that I felt that he didn't want to do much with me lately. Actually he does try to make a point of doing little things with me and I overlooked these little things and did not clarify myself as should have bad DBing there . He does do things like meet me for ice-cream, went Garage saleing, Not a lot but it's there. My problem (what I should have said) is in planning Vacation, and camping trips things that require planning he wants no part of just book them. When I ask what his thoughts are about vac. he just says nothing or I don't know. I asked once about each and that was it. I finally booked one trip and just gave him the date after he asked if I booked anything.

In all actuality my Issue is the fact that he still after all of this time and we have been piecing for going on Two years is that we are still basically stuck where we were a year ago and that I think is my fault.
It's that cheeseless tunnel I keep going down. It is the fact that when I try to detach and distance myself he knows what buttons to push to suck me back in.
I do do things for me but I do try to make sure i am available for him. Isn't that what piecing is about along with working on communcation for a better R.
Am I allowing him to stay in his tunnel and pine for OW thus not being able to truly commit to me emotionally?

TAL,

I have your e-mail at home but i don't get on there unless H is gone as he is always looking over my shoulder.

H,

Wish My H would go to counceling, Retro, or the Dr.

Are you ok?

JAK

You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez