In the context of my how I feel pain and am prone to substance abuse.... I came accross a subject area that is kinda new but amazingly simple and seemingly obvious. It is called the "Highly-Sensitive Person" or HSP... a personality type that is becomming recognized more scientifically.
Basically.... it describes about 15%-20% of the population base of Humans and many other mammal groups. Basically those of us who are of this type are simply more tuned to sound, smell, taste, and feelings. We can get overstimulated and need solitude to decompress. We tend to be more complex and feel things deeply. Some may say too deeply.
It goes well-beyond that but there it is in a nutshell.
I took the self-test on the web site for which I scored well into the range of affirmative for the HSP personality type.
Funny, my re-entrance into a more organized religion (born and raised a holy-day-only Catholic, now I attend weekly Methodist services) seems to FIT into all of the other self-improvement and introspection endeavours that I have been doing since the bomb.
I have thrown everything I could think of at this "challenge" in my life. IC. Reading anything in print from self-help books to published research in scientific journals. STBT. DBT. AlAnon. Self-esteem group. Divorce Support group. AlAnon. Raja meditation. Women's spirituality book club.
I take what I need and leave the rest. But I am surprised that there is little that doesn't fit together, or lead to the same insights.
Donna.... perhaps your experiences with Methodists are a part of are somehow more open-minded than the Pentecostals I have experienced. If so, I am glad to hear it.
My experience has been that most things outside of Pentecostal or Full Gospel cutlural or control were treated as competetive philosophies and that we didnt need them.
Frankly, it felt like CONFORMITY was the goal rather than TRUTH SEEKING. Truth was already a foregone conclusion... "God as our Pentecostal Culture has defined him". Which I suppose is a natural thing to do. However, to me it felt quite protectionistic of their own way of seeing things.
For someone to discover God through any other avenue was met with some manner of resistance and treated with some manner of skepticism. The only way to discover God and interact with him that was felt fully endorsed and accepted was through one of the Pentecostal outreaches or efforts.
Again, it felt that protectionistic in a way that stated that if something outside our culture is right, we may be wrong so lets just limit outside influences.
I suppose the one thing that stands out the most is recovery from drugs and alcohol. The Pentecostals are tightly connected to a particular "Recovery Program". It is based on Pentecostal Doctrine and has its roots in the Pentecostal Church.
They tout it as a "Cure for the Drug Problem" and boast a success rate that is astronomical. Yet, as an insider on a more than one experience with this organization, the success rate is a gross misrepresentation. It may at one point or in certain circumstances exist, but in the three first-hand experiences I had with this organization , it was inaccurate to say the least.
This "Recovery Program" also bad-mouthed and invalidated any other approach to recovery from substance abuse.... belittled is the better word. Yet, I observed from the inside all kinds of cover-ups and posturing for appearance sake that were ridiculous.
I observed drug use inside their facility. I observed lies to legal authorities by the leadership. Yet, the "students" of the program are paraded regularly in the front rows on Sunday services at the local supporting Pentecostal Churches (usually Mega-Churches).... presumably so clean-living middle-class suburbanite church members can see what a wonderful job their church family is doing to reach out to the wretched of society... and of course.... there is the "Fundraising" aspect to it as well.... these Pentecostal Mega-Churches fund the local "Recovery Centres".... few have any idea what really goes on... they just believe what is represented to them and consciences are apeased.
I heard plainly stated by a leader that if a student does not "Accept Jesus" in the first 2 months, they are released from the program. So then the goal is not really to help people recover from drugs and alcohol is it? It is to make converts. Kinda "conditional outreach". Like a soup kitchen feeding people only if they become Christians.
Yet recovery any way other than through their program is belittled? So the interest is not in the person's wellbeing, it is in the persons conformity.
So perhaps this gives you a window on my experiences and biases. This is just one of a few circumstances that I have experienced over the years. I won't even start on some of the Pentecostal perspectives on mental/emotional health I have experienced.
Perhaps the Mega-Machine gets running to fast and has such momentum that those involved are incapable of steering it... it gets out of control... and to deal with it, people begin to flail and make excuses and cover ups because there is no face-saving way to say.... "Oh sh!t, we are out of control". So the posturing, excuses and cover-ups continue all the more.
Anyway.... I am refreshed to hear that your Church experience is positive, open-minded and authentic. That is what I believe the church originally was and who Jesus was.
I guess once reputation, power, influence, and material assets get involved, it tends to taint people. That is my take on where churches end up going in the scenario I describe.
"Let God be true though every man be false".... I suppose is appropriate scripture for what I am referring to. Then again, there but by the grace of God go I.
I worry a bit about my son, who has become involved a mega-church in our community with a close friend of his. We had never been a regular-church-going family; in fact, after baptism, the kids didn't even go to weekly religion classes or get Communion. I tried to get them involved too late, after their opinions were set that it was too boring and they hated it. Honestly, I didn't like sitting in RC service, either.
With S, I am trying to temper any ultra-conservative viewpoints like you described. I expressed some concerns to him, like how they might look at homosexuality. The very next week, he said it was a topic and all agreed that people are people, no matter what, and should be accepted and respected. Could it be the location of this church? I'm not sure. He likes it because it is large enough to have its own teen-worship, complete with a rock band. He is having fun while learning a little about God and Jesus. At this point, I am just happy that he has this outlet and connection to a Higher Power concept.
I also bring him to some of my church events, and he likes some of those, as well. D has started to come with me, and has liked the Sunday school that is run. They also tend to sit through the service better, as there is more singing. When I spoke with the pastor before joining, she said that about 1/3 of the congregation are actually Roman Catholic or converts from other Christian denominations. After stories like yours, and my own experiences, I feel fortunate to have found the place where I ended up.
Hey Donna.... I can relate. I have teenage kids too who are in mega-churches and see what goes on. So far, they have not expressed any concern. I am glad that they have at least adopted the predominantly stated moral values (as opposed to the un-stated moral practices) of the organizations. I would rather they glean that amount of morality for their own well-being rather than trip over issues that frankly, I believe I am tripping over to a large degree.
With my kids, I am finding I am needing my program so much more. The act of surrender is a very powerful thing. However no higher stakes in trusting the surrender process than with our own children eh?
Our kids are entering a zany world. I have learned the value of the scripture that wherever evil is in abundance, grace is in abundance as well. So like you, I wonder what messages my kids are getting from their lives including their church experience. I am happy though that a day at a time, they are safe, fed, educated, and happy. Given that their parents went through a scorching divorce with some pretty dramatic behaivours by both parents, I feel that Go is showing himself as faithful in this situation.
Sorry to scare you with my mega-church rant. I am projecting a lot of my own hurt and distaste. Frankly, in stating what I am stating, I am glad that my kids are influenced by the church as much as they are even though it is to a great degree from the mega church culture. There is good in it. God has proven himself to me to be able to work wonderfully with and through flawed people and organizations. Hey... their own Dad (me) became the "yuppie coke-head"! And God has seen us through that. I have a great R with my kids in spite of this imperfection.
So ya, I concur with you... Thank God for the 12 and 12! For me, it has been my connection with God in a so much more simply authentic way. Hey.... maybe I will become a missionary to the Mega-Churches?
Keep doing what you are doing. Sounds like you are on a good path.
Ciao.
Chazz
PS... my ex-wife judged me for my drugs and booze. My new wife joined Al-Anon. So did I in fact. So I have a healthy respect for your program.
Thought I would provide a little balance to my usual enthusiastic posts. Yesterday and today I am fighting a bit of depression. I wanted to mention this because I do not want to come accross that life is purely great. It is great, but I do still have struggles.
I do miss my kids and wish I could be with them more. My XW's behaviour still hurts and is frustrating. I still have the odd bad dream. I still fight with sleep issues (too much, too little). BUT none of these are to the extreme degree they once were. None of these send me back out to the booze or drugs. None of these leave me laying in bed for days on end. None of these leave me suicidal.
When these challenging feelings show up, I take steps to work THROUGH them. I have not been spared FROM them. More often than not... in my experience... God delivers us through things rather than from things. So I view it that I am in God's hands even when I feel hurt or bad.
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sg Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
Chazz, thank you for sharing, I think that saying that we are delivered "through" rather than "from" really expresses something that I feel but have been unable to put into words. Free will is what it is, I believe that some times God's will is done in our lives as a result of others making negative choices.
I wish you continued happiness as you go "through", and thanks for reminding me to be on the lookout for silver linings. -Del
