Supermom and the Brighter Tomorrow

[JennyF]

Oblivious. Still the best word to describe H.
I had the conversation and he refused to admit that he is making poor decisions for his children. He excused it all away.
I told him I knew about the drinking & driving and he said it was mistake he's learned from it and it won't happen again.
He again tried to separate that from the kids saying they weren't with him and I said, "They need a father! You can't make stupid decisions like that when you have kids". He just doesn't get it.
I tried to talk a bit about the 'buzz' around town about to get him to see that I am not the only one who believes he is making poor decisions. He just doesn't believe it. He doesn't even see what's happening to his other relationships let alone really know what his friends are thinking.

He said he's happy in his life. I said it makes me sick to my stomach every time my kids are there at that house with him.

He still thinks all of this is just my way of trying to control things and that it is all in an effort to get him to come home. Even when I explained that wasn't the case he still thinks I'm just a woman scorned trying to get back at him.
It's like I'm talking to a child really.

Well, from a DB perspective I would call today a backslide. But since I don't truly consider myself to be actively DB'ing anymore...I don't care! He needed to hear those things out of concern for our children.
The good news is that in the past when I've had conversations like that with him and they ended the same way...I would be in tears and then I'd be reliving the fact that it's over between us again. But I don't feel that way this time. I'm a bit sad obviously that he didn't break down in tears and profess his love for me...but I really wasn't expecting that anyway.
And now it just means that I can clearly proceed with selling this house and buying the one I want with my consience clear. I told him today that I wanted him to know that I still don't want a divorce and that all of this is still his choice...nothing mutual about it. But I am ok and I will continue to be. That I moving on without him and I'm fine.

My best friend called me after and she was talking to another friend again about it all and told me again that it is just a matter of time before friends start talking to H about how they feel. It's coming, she said.

So that's it. Status quo.
J~