Hey eagle - try Smart Cookie, What did I do and Sandi - they have been part of my posters and all have excellent advice.
The funny thing is that at least your wife shows you emotion - even the swings - don't know if that is a good or bad thing, but mine is always very quiet or won't ever talk to me.
As you know, the first step is getting rid of the negative emotions - then you can work on the friendship. I am still on step one... groan.
Be well my friend.
CBK
M=46 W=47 M=24 (together 26) D21, S19 Bomb 3/16/08 OM 3/28/08 WAW moved out 5/16 Divorce final 10/09