Sounds crazy. Is there a way you can say "no" to those outside commitments right now because of all the other crap going on?
I'd like to but can't. SIL asked for my help with niece over two weeks ago. I also feel obligated to help out whenever she needs it because when H moved back in, he had said, "I told my sister whenever she needed someone to watch (niece) that she could bring her over here anytime. I'd watch her or you would. Unless you got a problem with that." He should've talked to me about it first but didn't. I don't mind helping out every now and then, but if there was a time where I couldn't or didn't feel up to it (like now), then he would make a snide remark about me being selfish or something. Saying I don't care because it's 'an inconvenience' for me. He's said these things before.
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I don't think I would have been able to resist either...probably one reason my H thinks I am a sarcastic/mean/demeaning person.
Whoa, I actually didn't say that last part. Funny that I typed it out. I was thinking it though. I just told the kids I would get it for them.
That's the kind of crap I get from H, and I remember thinking it but not saying it. I wouldn't want to talk like that about him in front of anyone, especially the kids.
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You've said this before as I recall. And you don't wait, you bring it up.
I bring it up because he continues to ask me what I want to do, and I've told him repeatedly that I am willing to go at this either way. Stay in the M or get a D, but I want him to make up his mind first, and I believe he has. He just won't say that he wants the D.
He also asked me if I read his e-mail. Yes, I did.
H's e-mail from last weekend:
I am amazed that you put up with this situation. It is true that I am not happy but I am not as dumb as I act. I know you deserve a lot better.
There was more to it. The rest of it was somewhat apologetic and compassionate, but these first few lines are very telling, I believe.
He is "not as dumb as he acts". That says to me that he knows what he's doing, he knows he's treating me like dirt, and he can't believe that I'm still here.
It's like he's got a plan or something. He'll continue on this way until I get tired of it and leave him.
If a D is what he wants, then why not just say so? Why not just tell me? WHY be vicious and cruel, uncaring and unloving? Why put us both through this he**?
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
