After 3 long years, H is home - II

[MichelleLT]

Yesterday was another angry day (mostly, I think, because of H's car overheating on him), and on top of that, I'm babysitting my niece for SIL again (she'll be here for the next couple of nights while SIL works).

Sounds crazy. Is there a way you can say "no" to those outside commitments right now because of all the other crap going on?

I told them, "C'mon, (S3) and (niece). I'll get it for you since Uncle (H) is too busy."

I don't think I would have been able to resist either...probably one reason my H thinks I am a sarcastic/mean/demeaning person.

I said, "Ok, I'm sorry you feel that way. Let me know what you decide when you're ready." He went to bed.

You've said this before as I recall. And you don't wait, you bring it up.

You gave him an ultimatum. No continuence unless he moved back home if I remember correctly. So, he's wondering if he made the right choice. That's only natural. You got by without badgering him about these things when you were S, now it's about learning the same coping and detachment techniques while living together.

(((((((GF))))))))

You do have the ultimate veto. You can D him. But everything in between requires more compromise and more work. It's up to you.