You got someone to blame / You say ...

[LolaL]

I agree. Sex is sex. That's bad enough. But when you put emotions into it, that is even worse.

[klm]

Actually, I think it is more serious/traumatic than a one-night stand even.

I think this too. Its the emotional connection that bothers me. The fact that he confided things in her that he didn't in me.

[LolaL]

Or went to her with problems he should have been talking about with me

[MichelleLT]

Yep exactly. He b!t@hes to the OW about our R problems, then wonders why they never get resolved - well maybe he should try telling ME that something's wrong so I can fix it!!!! *headdesk*

[LolaL]

<~~~~~~ Head is right there with you

[Kalni]

The fact that I am still not sure they had/have a sexual relationship, makes it worse for me too. I told him, I told him back then that what hurts me more is that SHE knows stuff about MY husband that I don't. That SHE was the person he felt like talking to while he hated being around with me, that SHE was giving him advice how to "live his life" and that "people that love you don't need explanations about what you feel, they just love you"...

One of these days -I swear- she is up for a big surprise. I confronted her -kind of- (back 6 months ago) through TM. She said "what are you talking about?" made me look like I was crazy. But you know what? She is probably regretting ever knowing my H. She 36 years old, anxious to get married (her words), she wantsto have kids and the last thing she knows is that she has to wait another 4 years before I "give" him the divorce. I am SURE he never told her I am asking for it and he is refusing. I am sure he doesn't tell her he is thinking of coming home.

Hopefully, I will have a better R with my H and she will have lost 1 year of her life....

I am mad now

k

[MichelleLT]

I am SURE he never told her I am asking for it and he is refusing. I am sure he doesn't tell her he is thinking of coming home.

Just as I am pretty damn sure my H didn't tell OW we've been sleeping together, before and while they were supposidly "broken up". Somehow I don't think either of our OW would be happy to learn those secrets! Lol

Hopefully, I will have a better R with my H and she will have lost 1 year of her life....

Mwahahahaha. Damn skippy!

[AliSuddenly]

Hi Michelle,

For my two penneth.. I wouldnt send the article to her and her sister (were you joking?). I think its bad karma and if your H found out, he might not view it kindly, it could be read as kind of malicious, I dont know. I just dont see how it would help you and it could backfire. But maybe you were kidding !? Apologies if so!

Also, the article is written as though the H is sneaking around and still livign with his W as a M man, and the W doesnt know and he therefore has a mistress. Thats not the sitch you are in, you are separated and she knows that and you know about her and he knows that you both know, so its not "seeing a M man" in the conventional sense, well, not the UK translation. Seeing a M man in the UK means that he is seeing an OW behing the W back and lying to his W whilst pretending to be faithful and still in a loving M with her and the OW is vainly waiting for him to end it with his W. So, I dont think the article would resonate with her anyway, and might make her more determined in a way?

I still think you shouldnt contact him, let him come find you. I know you said you couldnt wait to hear about the taxes, is that for legal reasons, you have to submit something, or just that you want to know/need the money? Can you make do with not knowing and not getting the money just yet if it means that you can leave him be, wait and see if he misses you/initiates contact? I think you need to leave him be and let her hassle him and for him to get even more sick of her and then he will wake up to the wonderful you!

Hope you ok today and less tired, I am knackered ! (is that a US word too?)
Ali xxx

[MichelleLT]

I'm not sure knackered gets used in the US, but as I have travelled in the UK, I am familiar with the slang.

I was only half-joking. I think it would cause problems if he knew it was me. But it's very tempting. Especially since her sister would be very receptive to it.

I am going to leave things be at least til Friday. Then see if he's contacted me.

[MichelleLT]

Oh, and the taxes. It's both for personal and financial reasons. I could use the money obviously. And I'm annoyed that he's avoiding dealing with things again. Plus I'm worried he got it and spent it.

If it comes down to legal stuff because of a legal S or D, then I'll need to get his bank account history. Then I'd know for sure what happened to the money.