I am really sorry for you and the two children. Perhaps this is all about OM, and when she feels you are finally removed enough from her life she will make him visible again. At least it would explain things.
However, from what she has said, I don't get the sense that she is running off to find her great happiness as Dancer15 portrayed her new perfect lover. She had been married, and fell in love with current husband. Then married him, saw his feet of clay, and was on to the next one. That seemed different to me. She certainly held herself in high esteem thinking she always deserved 2 men, and the husband always had to meet all her "needs" or it was the ax, like Henry the XIII. She didn't pussyfoot around worrying about what everybody else thought. She was clear -- "he doesn't meet my need for constant adulation, I am moving on."
But I don't hear that here. Your wife's emptiness seems to be within herself. She might be able to mask it at times with new love and sex. But as the high fades into the realities of everyday life, this empty feeling will keep returning. She reminds me of Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, who is dissatisfied by the mundaneness of her little life, and goes off to see the Wizard, only to find that her true wish is to go home again. I think if your wife wants to find that strong connection with another human being, she needs to come home and work on finding that connection with you. Michele has a couples workshop in Colorado that SallyM was saying one couple raved about. You had a temporary connection through Retrouvaille. I think you need to work deeper. I think you need more than a weekend of focus. And if you do try another workshop, I hope you will continue whatever exercises they teach. I do believe that dropping dialoguing did not help you. The letters you two are writing each other do not fit the form.
