Quoting WhyNotCheat:I try to imagine how I might feel if I discovered my wife having an affair. I'm not sure I would feel any kind of pain or anger. I think I would congratulate the guy on finally figuring out what sparks her flame.
One more thing... although I did cheat, it was not simply because my wife didn't fulfill my sexual needs. It was because after years and years of work and effort to find a solution, I felt I had come to a dead end. Finally I threw my hands up and said "Why Not?". So hopefully it's not as simple as -- "my spouse doesn't give me XYZ, so I will get that somewhere else".
Forgive me if I am wrong WNC, but I get the feeling from reading your posts that you have hardened yourself from years of neglect of certain of your XYZ needs. I think it is as simple as that. Many of those who's sexual needs are not being fulfilled will tell you its not about technique or perhaps not even frequency. It is a fulfillment of a most basic emotional need to feel loved, wanted etc. Therefore if the spouse is willing I think most would be happy with less frequency. It is the unwillingness that gets to most of us.
