Quoting luvhubby:Although it still hurts and angers me whenever I think about it, it was a real eye opener to me. Its made me realise that if I don't take care of my man he will just turn elsewhere to get his needs fulfilled, whether it may be sex, intelligent conversation, someone to listen to him or pamper him or whatever it may be.
My situation is a lot different than yours, our kids are growing up and we've been together almost half of our lives. I try to imagine how I might feel if I discovered my wife having an affair. I'm not sure I would feel any kind of pain or anger. I think I would congratulate the guy on finally figuring out what sparks her flame.
She does have a close male friend (whom I also consider a friend) and I can honestly and unequivocably say I don't feel the tiniest bit of jealousy when they spend time together. I've never suspected the least amount of physical contact. They are simply good friends, and if he provides some things I don't give her, that's great.
Having friends, especially mutual friends, can really add to the relationship. We can't always be all things to our spouses. Hopefully we are the most important thing.
One more thing... although I did cheat, it was not simply because my wife didn't fulfill my sexual needs. It was because after years and years of work and effort to find a solution, I felt I had come to a dead end. Finally I threw my hands up and said "Why Not?". So hopefully it's not as simple as -- "my spouse doesn't give me XYZ, so I will get that somewhere else".
By the way, things have definitely been getting better at home, and it's been these messages with people like you that have been so helpful. Thanks for your support!
