Quoting WhyNotCheat: My suggestion is to tell him in your most sultry voice "Help me out of these clothes, I'm really hot". See where that leads...
Thanks for your suggestion. I am afraid it wouldn't work though. H's drive is simply not there. Anytime I mention the lack of intimacy it just stresses him more. I am afraid to try anything and now even afraid to say anything. Otherwise we are happy. The only times we are not is when I mention our SSM state. H is always too tired and has asked me to wait till he has more energy for me. Well, I have waited patiently for weeks, months, more than 1 1/2 years now and it appears to me that it will take much longer. H never has time for intimacy with me anymore, its totally zero, not even once a week or once a month, not even during weekends or on the days when he is on leave because he doesn't make time. His way of relaxing after work is to have a smoke, play a PC game or watch some TV. I used to nag at him because I couldn't understand why he had time for those but not for me and I deeply resented it. However, I realise that that is just very negative behaviour on my part so I went and got us a new PC game and am currently taking turns playing it together with H. We are now having a fun time discussing strategies etc. It hasn't helped my intimate time but at least I have managed to turn my resentment into an opportunity to spend more time together with H. Apart from this, all I can do is continue to be patient, hope and try to remove other stresses from H's life and that includes not being a nag so that he'd come back to a warm and cosy home. H is sweet and helps me a lot with housework etc so I'm also trying to do more although I'm tired and hopefully that will give him more time to catch up with sleep etc leading to more time for me?
By the way, I noticed that you have put a stop to your A and I say Good For You, Keep It Up. These things do eventually catch up with you you know. Before we were married, H cheated on me and I found out about it when a very emotional OW came to my home when I was 7 1/2 months pregnant. Although it still hurts and angers me whenever I think about it, it was a real eye opener to me. Its made me realise that if I don't take care of my man he will just turn elsewhere to get his needs fulfilled, whether it may be sex, intelligent conversation, someone to listen to him or pamper him or whatever it may be.
