I have come to the conclusion, there are two camps, those who say, " thats life, move on get over it, bygones" and those, like us who were effected so deeply who just do not understand why its so ok.
I do not know how many camps there really are but I think you are more in the camp that I am in than you believe, the one that believes "All things work together for good for those who love God..."
Yes, we were in a lot of pain and when we see the reminder of that pain face to face, it digs at the wound. BUT, your life (my life) becomes more of a life that we were meant to have. More joy, peace and other good things we were not going to attain and maintain with our X's.
Some things still pains me regularly. While I was gone, my parents missed my son's 8th grade sports banquet (where he won virtually all the major awards) because my dad is holding a grudge against X and Mr. X. I was sad they did not go, it is there choice but a choice they would not have had to make if not for the betrayal.
Karen, love is a choice and forgiveness is a harder choice, a daily decision. You went above and beyond the call of duty out of your love for your son, you done good. Your feelings are natural. Maybe in time you can force yourself to remain in a forgiveness mode when the temptation to allow the hurt to rise up and fester. (Easier said than done, I know )
For me, the resentment will pop up but when I reject it for the evil jab it is, a provocation from the enemy, the deceiver, the one who tells me "you have every right to harbor, nurture and cultivate these feelings" then I am freed to go and enjoy myself whatever I happen to be doing. I typically fight this battle at times of special occasions, awards ceremonies etc. my upcoming son's upcoming 8th grade graduation being the next occasion.
I am not 100% there and may never be but I participate in these events with a clear conscience and enjoy the heck out of them once I take those negative impulses and hurts captive. Of course, it is the Lord that does this through me. Bless you my dear friend.
Committed2Him- "C2H" All Things (Back from Spain!)...18
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