We must be in a parallel universe. I'm just as stunned by your W's response as you are. Yet, I shouldn't be since I've basically got the same reaction from my W to these kinds of efforts.
I think there is definately something to this tough guy vs nice guy thing. Nice guys aren't a challenge and are thus uninteresting and no longer attractive. My wife's libido turned off the second I put a ring on her finger. And I think the more I have pursued intimacy the less she was interested.
Another interesting thing about my W, I figured out early on in our marriage that backing down in an argument was the worst possible thing I could do. If I remained calm or if I backed down she would get more mad and escalate the argument. But if I got mad and let loose, the argument would at least end instead of escalate, even if it got heated before the end. Its like she would lose respect for me if I didn't get mad back at her and really argue.
Like you, I can't talk to my W anymore. I'll ramble half coherently here instead.
FredD
The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.
