Kat, I forgot you were the same age as me! I think we will be the 2 hottest 43 year olds--let's share the title!!! I better start working out a little more though!!!
Have fun camping and riding. I'm going to be camping and playing my fiddle at a music festival up in the Sierra. Then it's off to Billings MT the following week.
So at this music festival I'm supposed to provide the makings for a drink called a caipirinha, made with cachaca. I have never even heard of this!
Hey lodo, I think I heard Nocodeblues posting somewhere about that drink. Post something to him. I think he said it was Brazilian and he had spent some time there.
You are doing great, man.
Me 47, WW 38 SS18, D15, D10
Good Bye Girl. No longer SAYING she's moving out. GBG moved out 8-1-08
"I have now decided to enjoy life instead of figure it out."
Just a small update. Little bits of info have been coming in that makes me think my WAW is finally starting to realize the consequences of her actions.
First, of course, is that about once a week she wants to stop by for some reason or another and then wants to stay and talk for several hours. Usually she ends up crying over something we've shared - friends or shared memories or something.
Next is that she told me she's noticed people are going out of their way to say or do nice things for me and not her, including her advisor.
Then a friend told me that she's been telling people we're Ding and its "mainly her doing."
I think the fact that I've let go completely and am now focused only on my own life has made a big difference. She sees me going out and enjoying the things we used to do together, and she's stuck inside working on a never-ending project with OM. She sees me engaging with people on many different subjects that she's interested in, and she's stuck discussing the same thing over and over with OM.
I don't know what will happen in the next 5 months before D is final, and I don't know if I could realistically get back with her even though I love her (because I don't think she'd do the work it'd take), but something is happening. The power in this R is shifting and now it is becoming more and more my choice. I think when she goes out to do remote work in the first part of June, she's going to be feeling very lonely coming back to our house alone and knowing I'm off having fun.
She's definitely not the same person who told me she felt "relieved and good" about dumping me.
That is good, Lodo. And don't "rescue" her if she ever acknowledges that to you, or do the ol' "moral equivalency" thing (you know, "Yeah, I'm sorry too, dear.")
Be her friend. Just not her BEST friend. And keep up all the great GAL stuff.
Just a small update. Little bits of info have been coming in that makes me think my WAW is finally starting to realize the consequences of her actions....
She's definitely not the same person who told me she felt "relieved and good" about dumping me.
lodo
That's wonderful to hear!!! No matter what happens I think it is great when a WAS is coming out of the fog or whatever happens to them. My H doesn't have any of that awareness and don't know if he ever will. You are motivating and inspiring me today; b/c sometimes it's stuff like this that that helps me to keep feeling positive! Karen
You sound like you are doing so much better. When the inevitable backslide happens, just remember the progress you have made and pick yourself back up again. I hope bizarro-W reverts back to the W you love. If not, you seem like you'll be fine. You have time. Keep it up. I'm rooting for you.
Me45 W35 M6 T8 D16 SD11 D0 Dec 07: Bomb July 08: Busted! Thread
Thanks g - I'm rooting for you too. Woke up this AM already feeling a bit of a backslide, but I suppose that's just going to be how it is. I've lost my best friend as well as my lover and I miss the intimacy we shared on many levels. Well, they say the end of a M is like a death, so I guess it's okay to mourn every now and then, but not get stuck in it.
Karen, I wish my sitch really was inspiring or motivating or even slightly positive, but I'm afraid it isn't. W may be realizing the consequences, but that doesn't mean she's doing anything about it. Still full-speed ahead to D.
Packing up today for a weekend of music and fun in the Sierra - I always love that feeling of gathering up stuff, packing up the truck, loading the cooler, deciding if you have enough food (do I need 2 bags of pistachios or 3?). There's so much anticipation and enthusiasm in the air!
I better start working out a little more though!!!