Help Me Act AS IF, Part 5

[newnamenewlife]

Really, you'd prefer to be back in limboland, SPM?

I am sitting back and letting H drive the S. But I am also starting to get really tired of living with someone who doesn't want to be with me, you know? It's demoralizing, no matter how much GALing I do. It's stressful keeping up a front for the kids too. I'm starting to feel that if the S is inevitable, let's get it over with so I can move on with my own life. But then I don't want to be the one who drives the action, either.

So, limbo it is for now. We are all going up to my family house in the country this weekend--just the four of us, ugh. It is such a magical and beautiful place in the mountains and H has been going up there with me for almost 20 years.