I am going to shoot straight. You are coming across as insecure. Your deep affection for your wife almost seems to be just a little smothering. I don't know you, so if I am wrong about that I wouldn't be surprised. But that is my take after reading your message.
But if you agree that you are insecure, you should know that can in itself be a turn-off. Truth be told, men are insecure and men are obsessed with the love in their lives. It does no good to show it, though.
The old saying is "nice guys finish last". The untold saying is that mean guys finish second to last. So who finishes first? Smooth talking, sweet talking, hard-to-get guys finish first. Guys who take risks finish first.
Maybe the first thing to do is go out and get a motorcycle. Or perhaps take flying lessons or try skydiving. Take a few risks. Lately I've been riding my bicycle to work. It's not too dangerous, and it's good for the environment. And I am getting some lusty looks from my wife when I put on those form-fitting bicycle shorts. I pretend not to notice.
So tell your wife dinner was delicious, her hair is extra pretty today, and then go out and play poker with the guys. Be confident, secure, complimentary, and loving. Take a few risks, be a little aloof.
It may not help your marriage, but I think it will help you feel better.
And remember that free advice is worth every penny!
