Hope4us struggle, part 4

[Hope4us]

Can you say pullback?

Last night was the best night we've had in probably 6 months. WW has a very busy work week going on and Monday night she had said she probably could take DS16 to drivers ed, but if she got tied up, could I take him? I said no problem. So yesterday I was half expecting a call/note asking if I could take him, but I didn't get one. So when she got home from taking him, I told her I was kind of surprised that she hadn't called. Well, that started it. She had a really bad day and talked and talked about it. I just listened. When she paused, I didn't jump in, just let the silence go and soon she'd talk more. Once in a while I would ask probing questions to get her talking more. This went on for probably an hour and a half.

Then she started talking about items DS19 needs for the apartment he's moving into in a month and then she talked about American Idol. All in all, probably 2 hours of us talking with me doing mostly listening. How's that women? That's what you guys like right? I didn't try to fix anything and I didn't make any of the conversation about me, which are both things that WW has said she has issues with.

So when it came time for DS16 to be picked up, I went so she could finish watching Idol. Now time for the pullback.

When we got home, she was DIFFERENT. Head down, reading a magazine. Didn't acknowledge DS16 or myself. I told them I was going up to bed to watch the NBA playoffs and told her goodnight and got nothing. This morning I went upstairs before leaving to tell her the dog hadn't been outside yet and I got a "who cares" shrug of her shoulders. DS16 heard me say goodnight and saw her ignore me and he rolled his eyes again and was ticked. But I talked to him in his room and told him that we'd had a pretty good evening and not to worry about it too much because I feel like we're making some progress, it's just going to take a while.

Can you say Conflicted? We've had more than a week of pretty good days (by today's standards). And last night was like normal, but then a mood swing.

Does this mean she's starting to realize I'm not so bad afterall and now the guilt is setting in? Does this mean we're making progress and when she has feelings for me it scares her because that would mean this whole affair was a waste and if that's true, then what does that make her?

So Puppy, does this sound like the conflict within? That's good, correct? Is she still talking to OM, but not in an affair way, but in "we can still be friends" way and if she has feelings for me she's recognizing how harmful that can be, hence, more conflict?

Still sticking with my plan. Her pullback actually made me smile because it seems to me she's going to have to go through these things to get to where we both want to go, even if she doesn't realize she wants to go there yet.

Comments?