When life just hits you

[tpaschal]

[quote=ACJ]

I'm fairly certain that if my MIL had stuck to her own principles (which I know she taught H) throughout all of this his attitude would be very different now. He would probably still be with OW BUT I don't believe he would have sunk as low as he has if in the back of his mind he truely knew his mother disapproved. Her opinion is VERY important to him and right now he thinks b/c she has 'accepted' his behaviour that she is reinforcing that he is doing the 'right' thing.

ACJ,

I'm sorry you're going through such a tough time and for the hurt you are feeling about your MIL's support of H.

My IL's totally do NOT support my H, and their relationship with him has become so negative that he will not speak to them anymore and will not even allow the kids to speak to or see their grandparents when H has possession of them during his visitation times. (FIL tutors D14 in Algebra, but H won't let her go for tutoring this weekend. Sad.)

But I don't know that it has the effect they were hoping for. In fact, I think it has allowed H to sink to an even lower place with the OW. I'm not sure why that is---maybe he thinks he's lost everything, even his parent's love, so why not sink as low as possible?

I don't think I'm explaining myself well.

I just mean that having your MIL support your H and OW may be helping him justify his behavior, but the flip side---if your MIL did not condone his behavior and let him know it---might not bring the result you were hoping for, either.