He's "done". Period.

[7 Year Itch]

OK, so how do you LRT and keep a poker face when your kids are devastated as well.

I royally screwed up today ,but I was MAAAAAAAD. So this morning I'm getting ready to go outside with D6 and D2, and my D6 out of the blue starts BAWLING! I mean, like sobbing. I was like.. "omg, what is wrong?" and she said......"Mom, why won't you let Daddy come with us this weekend?".

OK, my heart broke right there, and then the rage came. The face that my poor baby could think that I am keeping him from coming. I honestly had no idea what to do, so I said....." Honey, I'm not keeping him from coming this weekend. Let's call him and you can talk to him". So I call him at work, and she proceeds to call and cry, beg and plead for him to come with us this weekend on our annual Memorial Day weekend we do each year. She was sobbing, and I actually had to leave the room because I started sobbing listening to her on the phone with him.

So she finally gets calmed down and comes into my room to hand me the phone. Well, I should have just hung up. But did I, .....no. Instead, I usher the girls outside to play (the original plan) and I proceed to get on the phone with him and say "How can you do this to them? Fine, so you don't give a [censored] about me. Fine, but how can you not give ANY effort for their sake?". And it went on and on. I totally railed on him ,and I just let lose like I haven't up until now.

I seem to be a LRT flunky because I'm just determined apparently to drive him further away. My God, how do you all do this for months. I've been totally unsuccesful for less than a week. It's probably a very good thing we will be away from each other for 3 1/2 days.

Tomorrow is D6 graduation from Kindergarten. Yet another huge milestone that should be filled with love and great memories and yet I feel will instead have this "cloud" around it. Should be weird too, because my Mom is coming and she hasn't been in person with my H since I told her. I didn't tell her until about 2 weeks after the bomb was dropped because I was afraid she'd have a mental breakdown over it, and i just did not need that too. So she was around him after the initial bomb, but she didn't know it. Tomorrow she will be there, and I'm really scared to see if anything transpires. He is coming down for it in the middle of his work day, and going right back to work after it, so I don't think they'll really have time to talk.

Then tomorrow night D6 has a sleepover campout with her Brownie troop to celebrate the last day of school. So it'll just be me, H and D2 (who goes to bed early). Should be nice and akward.

Anyway. Thanks for all the replies guys. I can't believe how similar so many of our stories are. I just really don't understand how some spouses find it so easy to leave. I really don't. I'd walk through FIRE to try to keep my family together. And while I'm not on that other side (not feeling the love), I'd really like to think that I'd still have the character to put the effort forth.

I'm just still so stunned by his behavior. It's just so out of character for him.

Chris