You sound like you are doing well. I am in much the same position as you regarding the current state of your R. I am not D'ed yet but I think I will be before things get better. However, W contacts me almost daily and we are always friendly with each other. Like you, I also go out of my way to be good to her. Like you say "I think she wants to be friends" and that seems like a good start to me.
Keep doing what you are doing.
M35 W37 S9 D6 M12 yrs Know 15 yrs Bomb 1/28/07 My Sitch Failure is the opportunity to start again more intelligently - Henry Ford